That Tampax Pearl advert is really getting my goat at the moment. What's the heck is it on about? "I invented pearl!" "Not that pearl, this pearl!" What? Erm... I'm confused. Not only confused, but really really bored of 'lady adverts'. Why are they so patronising?
It did contain the lyric 'every day we studied pie-eating'. Or at least I thought it did. Turns out it was 'every day we start a fighting'.
My version is way better.
Anyway, if you were curious about Eurovision but couldn't stomach the idea of three hours of live coverage on a Saturday night, you're in luck! Follow us over the jump to watch the Dollymix Eurovision Highlights 2009.
Britain's Next Top Model has started and while this version isn't a patch on Tyra's across the pond, it still makes for pretty addictive viewing. But this time there's a twist (isn't their always?) One of the contestants is battling anorexia.
Dollhouse, the new series from Buffy the Vampire Slayer creator Joss Whedon, premieres in the UK on Tuesday 19th May, on the Sci-Fi Channel.
Complex, dark and witty, it stars ex-vampire slayer Eliza Dushku (Faith from Buffy), and raises questions about identity, morality and technology (and - this being a Joss Whedon show - there's no shortage of ass-kicking ladies, either).
But will you be watching? Follow us over the jump to watch the trailer and decide.
For example, did you know that Miss Piggy is from Iowa? Or that Gonzo is sexually attracted to chickens? Or that in Pakistan, Oscar the Grouch goes by the name of Akhtar and lives in an oil barrel?
My favourite fact of the lot? That Count Von Count is apparently quite the ladies' man, who has been linked to Countess von Backward, (who, surprisingly enough, loves to count backwards); Countess Dahling von Dahling and the enigmatic "Lady Two". Obviously, the way to a Muppet womans' heart lies in a strong knowledge of rudimentary Mathematics and maniacal laughter.
Whenever you write about children's television, you always feel duty bound to say Pah! Kids nowadays! When I was a child back in the 1980s, we had a veritable cornocopia of premium entertainment! somehow forgetting that we too were bombarded with cheap (and frankly bizarre) foreign imports (if you want an example, then look no further than He-Man and She-Ra who were only created to sell a line of dolls).
Various commentators are saying that the reason kids are no longer watching these programmes isn't just because The Weakest Link has hit BBC1's teatime schedules, but also because kids have now have access to a wide array of mindblowing entertainment via satellite kids channels and the internet. Why sit around with your fishfingers and chips watching the squeaky clean Blue Peter crew show you how to make a spaceship out of a Fairy Liquid bottle when you can watch Elijah Wood doing his special dancey dance on Nickelodeon's amazing Yo Gabba Gabba?
I love my food. Always have done, and probably always will do. Over the past few years, I've also become rather addicted to large swathe of the cookery programmes that appear to be slowly taking over the airwaves. I've seethed silently over Auntie Delia's love of tinned mince and frozen hockey pellets of mash, cooed over Nigella Lawson's obscenely good-looking kitchen, and-on more than one occasion-had to restrain my mother from licking the television screen when she's caught sight of that James Martin bloke who presents Saturday Kitchen.
I do a lot of cooking at home, and take a real pride in my skills in the kitchen. I know how to make a halfway decent loaf of bread, I can bake cakes so good they have been known to make grown men weep and, upon feeding him the fruits of my labours after I attended a Malaysian Cookery Course, my boyfriend once told me that my food was "as good-maybe better" than the stuff he got from his local takeaway. (Charming lad).
However, around this time of year, an alarm clock goes off in my stomach. The alarm clock which compels me to park myself in front of a television at 8.30pm every weekday evening to watch two lardy, hairy, shouty men shovel obscene amounts of food into their mouths like a pair of mutant pez dispensers. Oh yes, it's time to come clean with my guilty little secret. Dollymixers, you can keep your Dancing on Ice and your X-Factor,I, Miss Cay, am addicted to Masterchef.
A complete history of my sexual failures is a documentary by Chris Waitt. It previewed at Cannes last year and after reading reviews I finally managed to watch it last week on Virgin On Demand. I can safely say that it made me laugh more than anything has in a long while.
Chris, the director and star of this almost complete car crash (meant in the best possible way) of a documentary has had problems with every relationship he has ever been in having been dumped by every girl he has had dalliances with. Poor Chris.
However, as you watch Chris phone through each of his ex-girlfriends to ask them for an interview on camera, and as you listen to phones being slammed down and one girl telling him that 'hearing your voice makes me want to vomit' you start to think he must have done something pretty horrendous.
Isn't this fantastic? It's the Cheryl Cole Commemorative Plate, complete with brilliant quote about friendship. Of course it's not real - it's a mock-up by those cheeky Lipster types, but if it were real I would buy it.
Coolio slags off English women in Celebrity Big Brother.
He told Tina Malone that English women get drunk and will "go with someone" they don't even know. Tina Malone said: "I think a lot of English women need to be p***** to f*** with no inhibitions."
But those pesky asterisks draw a veil over her true meaning. She might have said "potato to filibuster" for all I know.
Now, I don't know how you ring in the festive season, but Christmas doesn't really start in this house until I'm propped up on the sofa, nursing a hangover, wearing my pajamas, scarfing down a breakfast of coffee and liqueur chocolates, and watching some mawkish made-for-TV movie.
So I've taken a look at the terrestrial TV schedule for the holiday and compiled my top 10 cheesy Christmas TV movie recommendations for 2008/9 just for you lucky Dollymixers (I know, I know, weeth my movies I am spoileeng you). Check 'em out after the jump!
That Tampax Pearl advert is really getting my goat at the moment. What's the heck is it on about? "I invented pearl!" "Not that pearl, this pearl!" What? Erm... I'm confused. Not only confused, but really really bored of 'lady adverts'. Why are they so patronising?
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