There seemed to be lots of reasons not to - it might go off accidentally in your bag in the middle of a shop, humiliating you shrilly as you frantically search through your keys and lipsticks to turn it off.
And if you do manage to locate it and turn it on during an attack, people will pay as much attention to it as they do to car alarms, and leave you to fend off the attacker yourself. Possibly, the best we could hope for is temporarily deafening him.
If, like me, you quite liked the Twilight movie in a teenage fangirly way, but wished that Bella had been a little less passive and mumbly and more kick-ass, then you're in for a treat.
This brilliant mashup video shows what might have happened had Edward Cullen tried his intense-starey, slow-talkin' shtick on Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Watch and learn, Stephenie Meyer, watch and learn:
US teen Savana Redding was subjected to a humiliating strip-search by school staff, after a classmate claimed that Savana was carrying "contraband tablets" (ibuprofen).
When it turned out that Savana didn't have any on her, the school neither apologised, nor returned her mother's calls.
So Mrs Redding called the cops.
Now, thanks to Savana's own tireless campaigning, the case went to the US Supreme Court, who declared the school's actions as a violation of Savana's civil rights.
Watch the video below for Savana's story, and follow us over the jump for more.
I knew it, I KNEW IT! Kimberley Vlaeminck, the Belgian girl who claimed she fell asleep while 56 stars were tattooed to her face, has admitted she was lying.
Well, of course she was lying. Either that or she was in a coma. I mean, how do you sleep through a man needling five stars onto your nostril?
"I asked for 56 stars and initially adored them. But when my father saw them, he was furious. So I said I fell asleep and that the tattooist had made a mistake," she said.
And it was such an obvious, awkward, oh-crap sort of lie it's actually a little heartbreaking. She's only 18 and I think we've all suffered buyers' remorse.
So what have you bought that's caused you the most remorse?
Women! Is your smoking technique a bit off? Are you forever lighting the wrong end, trying to inhale through your ears or your nethers and generally making a complete tit of yourself in public?
Or perhaps you don't smoke at all, despite the many benefits of looking cool, smelling bad, and spending the long nights before your early demise shivering outside pubs as a procession of street lotharios barrel into you with increasingly lame pick-up lines?
Well, fear not! This handy guide to smoking for laydeez is sure to up your smoky game and bag you a nice hunky advertising executive. Not sure where this photo is from, but it was brought to our attention by fabulous Twitterers @annajleach and @finsbury. Click on the image to enlarge it.
Now, there are a lot of odd bras on the market right now. On Dollymix we've brought you the man-hunting bra, and the squeezy cleavage-enhancing bra. We as ladies know that these are ridiculous. But, just to be sure, we asked a man. Here is Stuart Heritage from caustic gossip website Hecklerspray on the newest fad bra to grab us by the, er, attention.
Ladies, do me a favour and take a quick peek down your top. What do you see? That's right - you see a couple of badly-dredged breast glands slapping together like a couple of disgusting fish. It's disgusting. You're disgusting. No wonder you haven't even got a boyfriend.
If only there was a way that you could dredge your breast glands and look sexy in the process. What's that? There IS?
Apparently, yes. Follow me over the jump and let me introduce you to the Pangao Magic Massage Bra.
But spare a thought for what the poor women of the 1930s had to go through when Aunt Flo came to stay.
First they had to hoist on a big nappy, then attach it to a special belt, then wash their hands in a silver bowl while looking in the mirror at midnight under a waning gibbous moon...
Well, probably not that last bit. But it was a bit complicated.
Luckily Kotex put out this brochure to help womenkind educate its daughters about the process.
Called 'Marjorie May's Twelfth Birthday', this curious vintage piece has been documented in its glory by Flickr user wiebe_ben. Take a look! And then give your nice, low-maintenance modern products a cuddle. Or um, maybe not.
Darlene Cavalier is an ex-professional cheerleader who's now using her site, Science Cheerleader, to rally the troops of 'citizen scientists' - average peeps like you and me - to engage more with science efforts in their community.
This video teams REAL LIFE CHEERLEADERS with REAL LIFE SCIENCE FACTS, and is part of her Brain Makeover programme:
You know what we don't see enough of anymore? People hitting each other with pillows.
It's a travesty.
But Urban London plan to address this with their flash pillowfight in Trafalgar Square on Friday 26 June, when Big Ben strikes 6.30pm.
Be there or be square! And if it rains (which is, let's face it, is quite likely. The ice gods walking down Carnaby Street is likely at this point), put your pillow in a plastic bag.
Here are the rules:
1) Tell everyone you know about PILLOW FIGHT (bring a pillow) !!!
2) Wait for the Big Ben to strike 6:30pm precisely and then start!
3) Don't hit anyone without a pillow (unless they want it kinky lol)
4) Don't hit anyone with a camera
5) Someone yells "Stop!", goes limp, taps out, their fight is over
6) SOFT pillows to be used ONLY
7) HAVE FUN!!!
But what if you don't have a pillow? What if you have a ukelele instead? And what if you're not in London?
Don't worry, we cater to all tastes. Well, at least three....
"Women like to be complimented on both their looks and their intelligence. I'm sure you've heard the question "Do I look fat in this?" before, most men have.
The reason they ask this is that they need to know that YOU still find them attractive regardless of what they think or anyone else thinks. They just need positive reinforcement from their partner to feel better about themselves."
How true is this for you? Are trust, intimacy, respect and positive reinforcement the standard, or is there something missing? And does it differ from woman to woman? Some women I know want someone who "won't be bothered by the fact that I probably earn more than them". Some want acres of personal space, while others like to be joined at the hip with their other half. One friend's entire relationship is based on the understanding that her boyfriend will never, ever request or offer a foot massage (she's a bit phobic).
So what about you? Take our poll and contact us to let us know what you want out of a relationship:
Earlier this week we asked whether you'd carry a rape alarm. 
digg this |
del.icio.us this
| 
Stumble It!
