One of the guiltiest pleasures ever to grace our sets, Desperate Scousewives is a weekly installment of on-screen bitching for those who like their telly trashy. One thing I've noticed while watching the show, however, is how confusing it can be to watch a gaggle of nobodies giving off an almighty 'don't you know who I am?' attitude to which the answer can only be a resounding 'no'! So here's a quick guide to the key players in the Scousewives crew.
Top Row
left to right
A 'proper local celeb', Amanda Harrington is the self-styled star of the show with a tendency to get decked out like a Christmas tree at the slightest provocation. A model and businesswoman, Amanda insists she is not a WAG (you're going to hear this a few times), citing her inspirations as Kim Kardashian and Pamela Anderson.
Joe McMahon, currently the resident heart-breaker of the show is an 'honorary scouser' who was born in Wales and now works as a club promoter. Speaking of his rep as a ladies' man he says 'I have had relationships or flings with a few of the girls; I know how to push their buttons. I'm easy on the eye, lads are going to want to be me and girls are going to want to be with me!'
Debbie O'Toole, swimwear model and former Miss Liverpool, is living proof of what a woman who spends every penny of her earnings on beauty products looks like. Make up your own mind if you think it's worth it! The younger sister of Gil, Debbie cites Beyonce as her biggest role-model.
Middle Row
Sam Woolley was lucky to be born when she was, because her likeness to Kate Middleton has given her a ready-made career (her dress sense could do with a little work, however). The psychology student is the youngest of all the Scousewives, and claims that 'drama' loves her.
Everyone loves a sexy nurse, so the future looks bright for wannabe model Chloe Cummings. Cousin of Abbey Crouch and now protege of Amanda, Chloe says: 'people say I really look like Abbey when I'm dressed up'. Really?? It's called 'genetics', love...
Not content with a sensible and respectable career in property management, Adam Ramsey also moonlights as a 'Butler in the Buff'. We've yet to see the full spectacle, and personally I'm hoping that E4 keep it that way.
Bottom Row
The first of our girls not to work as a model (or aspire to that lofty aim) Elissa Corrigan is a journalist! (can't you tell by the glasses?) Liverpool's answer to Carrie Bradshaw also blogs and tweets her way through the city's D-List landscape with the help of her main confidante...
Jaiden Michael. The bitchy blogger, who is 100% Scouse born delights in wiping the lipgloss-tinted smiles off the wannabe girls (and boys) of the local party scene and says he is 'the person to break the stereotype about gay reality TV stars. Really?
Gill is single and doesn't care who knows it. In fact, her main reason for appearing on the show is to find Mr. Right, and she works the room in every episode. She optimistically states: "It's time to portray Liverpool girls in a good way, super friendly, easy going and most of all, fun."
Jodie Lundstram is the 'liveliest Liver Bird in Liverpool'; a football fan most definitely not looking for a footballer (not another one!) and 'Scouse Barbie' who admires Lady Gaga and Christina Aguilera. Not that it shows at all...
Hotel heir George Panayiotou is one hell of a catch, and certain female cast members make no secret of wanting to get their hands on his *ahem* millions. The London-born entrepreneur and playboy says that 'health and happiness' are the only things that really matter to him.