It seems that every week we are bombarded with different views on when we should be having babies. Recent years have seen a rise in the average age that a woman has her first child, going from 28 in 1999 to 29 in 2009. There has also been a sharp rise in the number of women over 40 giving birth. However, these trends have provoked some strong reactions in some quarters, with it being suggested that waiting until your thirties to conceive is selfish and risky. It's very difficult to sift the fact from the alarmist fiction.
The eighties and nineties saw a definite focus on women climbing as far up the career ladder as possible and the concept of the super woman was born, embodied by mother of five and hedge fund manager Nicola Horlick. It was our duty as women to pay back our fore mothers for their equality struggle and we enjoyed our new freedoms. However, cracks began to show in this myth of the superwoman during the noughties. Horlick herself appeared to sacrifice her marriage to her career and we all began to doubt that having it all really was possible. Should we, if having a family is a priority for us, be putting having kids before career? What's a girl to do?
It's not an easy question to answer. On the one hand, being a young mum has its distinct advantages. Your body bounces back more easily and you have the energy to deal with the grueling, sleepless nights. On the other hand, an older mum has the wisdom of experience and is less likely to feel like they are missing out on other aspects of life. There are a lot of examples of older mums in Celeb-land at the moment, Kelly Preston pregnant at 47 for instance, and women are lulled into a false sense of security by their apparent late stage fertility. What they don't realise is that a growing number of women are turning to donor eggs and choosing to keep quiet about it. Women must also realise that you cannot compare your fertility with that of another woman of the same age, as all our bodies are different. There are now products available on the market that claim to be able to let you know if your ovarian reserve is dwindling, so you can gauge whether time is limited for you, but is encouraging people to panic conceive really the answer?
In truth, I don't think it is possible to say whether it is better to start your family younger or wait until you are bedded down in your career. Everyone is different and only they can decide when they feel ready to be the best parent that they can be. What matters is making the right choice for you.
