The beautiful Lisa Snowdon, ex girlfriend of everyone's favourite bachelor Mr George Clooney, recently expressed her lack of faith that at the age of thirty nine she would ever find the man who would give her the marriage and babies she craved. This has prompted a flurry of magazine articles discussing what the issue was with seemingly gorgeous, intelligent women being unable to find the right man and whether they were simply being too demanding. Cue many women up in arms at the suggestion that they should "settle". "Because I'm worth it" became a mantra for Generation X, but this is a dangerous concept to hold too close to your heart. Now, slowly we are all starting to realise that having it all is a myth.
I think that there are two issues here. Firstly, a lot of people seem to equate passion and yearning with love. They feel that they need to burn with wanting and needing a man, but isn't this just how you feel when your needs are not being met? If someone always seems to be just out of reach you will naturally yearn for them. It's a human trait to want to "win" someone and some men seem a real challenge. However, thinking that you will be the one to tame the wild stallion is far too often the triumph of hope over reality and a fantasy fed by a million rom coms. Hollywood has got fat on that dream. We need to let it go if we want to be happy.
The second issue is working out what type of relationship you want. Are you looking for stability, security and a great dad for your children? Well, that steadiness and trust comes at a price: it rarely seems particularly thrilling at first. The man who wants to whisk you off to Peru at a moment's notice is unlikely to be a man who is happy to cosy up on the sofa in front of X Factor on a Saturday night. If a lifetime of excitement and living by the seat of your pants is what you want then by all means go for Mr Peru, but be prepared for him to be let you down at times while he chases his own rainbows. If stunning looks are big attraction you'll have to face facts that other women are likely to find him pretty irresistible too and you may not feel too secure in your relationship.
I'm not saying that you need to seek out a complete dullard who looks like a potato, but perhaps think about giving a more reliable man who you might have dismissed at first a try. Dependability and strength can be pretty thrilling when you hit a bump in the road and he is there to catch you when you stumble and fall.
