The Pangao Magic Massage Bra - a boy's perspective

Now, there are a lot of odd bras on the market right now. On Dollymix we've brought you the man-hunting bra, and the squeezy cleavage-enhancing bra. We as ladies know that these are ridiculous. But, just to be sure, we asked a man. Here is Stuart Heritage from caustic gossip website Hecklerspray on the newest fad bra to grab us by the, er, attention.

Ladies, do me a favour and take a quick peek down your top. What do you see? That's right - you see a couple of badly-dredged breast glands slapping together like a couple of disgusting fish. It's disgusting. You're disgusting. No wonder you haven't even got a boyfriend.

If only there was a way that you could dredge your breast glands and look sexy in the process. What's that? There IS?

Apparently, yes. Follow me over the jump and let me introduce you to the Pangao Magic Massage Bra.

The Pangao Magic Massage Bra is pretty much a world-leader when it comes to bras with a pair of vibrating balls inside them that are supposed to do all sorts of spurious-sounding things to your knockers.

Just what exactly will the Pangao Magic Massage Bra do for you? Let's ask Pangao themselves:

"Pangao breast enhancer make breast effectively make breast up, dredge breast glands, eliminate blood stasis and effectively prevent women from breasts disease and flaccid... In this way female breast will become more healthy and sexy."

I for one welcome the invention of the Pangao Magic Massage Bra. And, no, for what it's worth I wouldn't be put off if I returned to yours after a night out to discover that you'd stuffed a couple of vibrating balls down your cleavage just because a Chinese underwear manufacturer told you in broken English that your breast glands needed dredging.

Admittedly that's because I would have scarpered the instant that I saw you were wearing an ugly red bra with a gruesome bright green spiderweb design scrawled across the front, but that's just common sense.

Stuart Heritage is the editor of the celebrity gossip website Hecklerspray.

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