tamponfairy.jpgThat Tampax Pearl advert is really getting my goat at the moment. What's the heck is it on about? "I invented pearl!" "Not that pearl, this pearl!" What? Erm... I'm confused. Not only confused, but really really bored of 'lady adverts'. Why are they so patronising?

No woman I know has ever run about like that while they're on their period. Not one. The very thought of gentle exercise if I've got period pain is enough to have me curled up in a ball on the sofa shouting at anyone who comes near me. I don't bloody want to go skating! (That would be pretty laughable any time of the month if I'm honest). I don't want to swan about on a yacht. And I'm not convinced that buying any brand of tampon is going to change that. Having a period didn't suddenly make me a millionaire either. Where did the yacht bloody come from?

It's not just tampax ads that are annoying. It's those healthy bacteria bloating ads. Why does being a woman mean that we get more bloated than a man? I'm pretty certain I've NEVER had a conversation about being bloated with a group of friends. When did women suddenly start get bloating anyway? All of a sudden normal tasty Muller yoghurt stopped being suitable for women. We had to eat yoghurt with only friendly bacteria. Otherwise we'll feel rubbish aaaaaall day and cry into our wine and won't meet any nice men to take care of us for the rest of our lives. We'll be left on the shelf because we brought the wrong yoghurt. If only we'd realised sooner.

I certainly haven't had a little tete-a-tete over coffee about constipation. Don't advertising agencies realise that by trying to 'be one of us' they're being patronising and talking bullshit? Has anyone talked about constipation in a cafe? Ever? There's a time and a place for those sorts of chats. It's not in Starbucks.

Hopefully advertising bods will start to realise that making an advert look like an episode of Sex and the City won't work. There's nothing glam about not being able to go for shit.

Flickr image from ecastro's photostream.