Why are first dates so bad?
Earlier this week, a group of girls had a conversation on Twitter about first dates. Granted it would have been better placed in a bar with enough white wine to block out our most embarrassing moments, but there was a general consensus: They're usually AWFUL. But why is that first date so bad?
I'm not saying that all first dates are 'bad'. No. Most of them are SO BAD IT MAKES ME NEVER WANT TO DATE AGAIN. Once in a blue moon, one of them will be quite successful. By successful, I mean that I haven't drunk so much through nerves that I'm sick everywhere, and there's a bit of kissing action. But really, I'm a jabbering idiot on a first date and tend to chatter like a monkey. A drunken monkey in a pretty dress. Sounds fun, doesn't it?
I've realised though that aside from a brief spell of online dating, I don't 'date'. I get
pissed tipsy at parties and kiss boys I like (no, not all in the same night). Or, I end up dating someone that I'm friends with, or a friend of a friend. Dating someone you know you like is easy! (Aside from the complex friendship rules that ruin everything and end in tears, that's always fun). Once you take all of the good stuff away - the in-jokes, the comfort and the flirting, women change. We turn into idiots, trying to hide our flaws and play up our strengths. We're not ourselves.
If we go on a bad date, we tend to blame it on the man we out with. Maybe we shouldn't. Maybe there's nothing wrong with the guy. Of course, the exception to the rule is the man who thought he should take me to an Irish theme pub and then make me buy the first round. And the second. But when we go on an awful date, maybe it's awful and uncomfortable because we turn into a different person - and that's not the reason this guy is out with us in the first place.
Of course from now on, this means on my first dates I'll swear too much, smoke too much, fiddle with my hair to the point where it might fall out and say really silly things. But that's just me and that's who a guy should see. Because I kinda like me. Sometimes I scrub up quite nice too.
Flickr image from bahoolal's photostream.