Those of you who follow me on Twitter will know that I was groped in a supermarket a couple of weeks back. I actually punched the guy in the face (violence of any kind is very bad, I'm a very naughty girl etc blah). There was blood, there was a kerfuffle, but I bought my sandwiches and went on my way. I was hungry and really really angry. But then after chatting to friends, I realised that this kind of thing isn't as uncommon as it should be. In fact, a lot of the girls I knew had had similar experiences. When did public groping become OK?
More importantly, when did the lines blur? Sure, getting hit on in the middle of a sweaty dance-floor is annoying, but you can smile sweetly and move away. After a few drinks, for some reason it's less of an issue. But when you're confronted with it in the middle of a supermarket, what are you meant to do? How are you meant to react? And why do some guys think that this is an acceptable way to pick up women? I'm not suggesting men run around with no control over their hands, groping everything in sight, but it's becoming much more common these days.
My reaction was pretty strong. I think it was an impulse more than anything. But I was pretty pissed off that someone felt it appropriate in the first place. Someone mentioned on Twitter that if more women reacted as strongly as I did, maybe it would happen less. That worries me - violence shouldn't be the only option. But if we shout and make a fuss, then we're seen to be 'over-reacting'. So what are we meant to do?
I think it's safe to say that at some point, every woman has either been on the receiving end of some unwanted physical attention, or knows someone who has. But the incidents on their own don't seem big enough to report. It doesn't really seem like that big a deal. It is, though. And it shouldn't happen.
By the time we're given time to react, the situation is over. Either the guy has gone on his way, or you've caused a scene. And what if you are causing a scene? What if you're wrong? What if everyone around you thinks you're making a big deal out of nothing? It doesn't matter. It shouldn't matter. But it does.
Violence probably isn't the answer (it very rarely is, after all). But I did something. And no matter how you deal with groping, it does need to be dealt with and it does need to be talked about. Shouted about if necessary. It just shouldn't happen and until it stops happening, I'll be pretty vocal about it.
Flickr image from nicasaurusrex's photostream.