So Norway won Eurovision 2009. Their entry - 'Fairytale' - was by singer and violinist Alexander Rybak.
It did not contain the words 'disco' or 'party'.
It did contain the lyric 'every day we studied pie-eating'. Or at least I thought it did. Turns out it was 'every day we start a fighting'.
My version is way better.
Anyway, if you were curious about Eurovision but couldn't stomach the idea of three hours of live coverage on a Saturday night, you're in luck! Follow us over the jump to watch the Dollymix Eurovision Highlights 2009.
First up we have the Greek entry: Sakis Rouvas and 'This is our Night'. Sakis, dressed head-to-toe in white, like some angelic personal trainer, starts off proceedings by drawing invisible magical symbols in the air, doing some high-speed Qi Gong, then jumping around energetically. Just watching him will make you tired!
Next up are Armenia's vampires: Inga and Anush Arshayan. I actually quite liked this performance (especially the costumes), although I did keep expecting Gary Oldman to appear out of the fog wearing blue-tinted sunglasses:
I think my personal favourite, Ukraine's Svetlana Loboda (about whom I've Dollymixed before) was robbed. Easily the most entertaining act of the evening, her performance included giant wheels, male dancers in tiny Gladiator costumes, spinny acrobatics, some David Coverdale-style posing, hearty bellowing, one saucy/utterly petrifying lip-lick, and she took time out to play the drums.
Robbed, I tell you:
Other highlights included
- Albania's Kesji Tola in a peach tutu, dancing with a spangly turquoise gimp
- 'Our'
LeonaJade almost being stabbed in the eye by a violinist - Lithuania's Sasha Son and his amazing, fire-producing hand
And finally, here's Norway's winning entry - cheeky fiddler Alexander Rybak and his song about studying pie eating:
See? Now you can go about your Sunday without worrying that you missed out on Eurovision. And if you're some sort of masochist who wants a proper sequin-by-sequin account, check out the transcript of Heckerspray's live blogging of Eurovision 2009.
Who needs Graham Norton when you have Dollymix?
Image by Prarn, Flickr.