Monday Question Time-has everything about you always been so sexy?
Sometimes I sit down and wonder what I could have achieved in my life by now if I wasn't constantly becoming distracted by the massive time gobbler known as the Internet. I love the Internet. I love the weird distractions it manages to throw in your direction, mostly when it is Sunday afternoon and you've got a feature to file by 9am the next morning. Instead of being good, making myself a cup of tea and actually getting down to some work yesterday, I managed to get bogged down in what is arguably one of the best blogs I've seen in ages, the rather amazing Sexy People.
Now, I know it's cruel to mock the afflicted, and I know that there was a time when a permed mullet was the look to work if you wanted to be a hit with the chicks, but Sexy People can provide literally hours of joy, just because it does indeed prove my theory that there is a little corner of the Southern American "square" states where it is forever 1985 (what's even more worrying is that, if my American mother had decided back in 1988 that we should stay in Florida instead of moving to England, I too could now be in possession of a picture of myself with big hair peering around a pillar in soft focus).
Then again, I really shouldn't ridicule-particularly as there are in existence some pictures of me rocking some rather "interesting" looks throughout the ages. Highlights have included:
:: The bowl cut my Grandmother gave me when I was five years old, which made me look like a rather fleshy Death Star.
:: The same Grandmother (obviously believing that she was on a roll with her previous bit of handiwork) deciding that my lovingly re-grown hair was a hindrance and then taking me to a male barbers to get me a crewcut.
:: The bright pink furry miniskirt I thought it was a great idea to team up with platform sneakers back in 1996. (I tried to pass the blame for that one off on the Spice Girls rather than my own satorial stupidity).
:: The fact I was almost expelled from secondary school back in 1998 for turning up for the first day back after the Summer Holidays with bright red streaks in my (dyed) black hair, a la Saffron from Republica. Alas, my arguments about my hair matching the school's colours didn't impress the deputy Headmistress as much as I thought they would.
:: My current love of chopping my fringe with blunt kitchen scissors whilst drunk, which means that on more than one occasion it has turned out-for want of a better term-a wee bit "wonkified," and I've had to go to work the next day wearing a hat that covered my entire head, a course of action which has not impressed my ex-hairdresser sister.
Of course, it's all too easy for me to poke fun at myself-that's my job after all. But surely you lovely Dollymix readers have got a few fashion skeletons in your closets that you'd like to share with the class. Ever bleach your hair with Domestos? Tie-dye your pants to impress a member of the opposite sex? Shave a naughty word in your downstairs region? Taken immense pride in walking the streets of your home town in a Chesney Hawkes t-shirt? If so, feel free to share! And be assured, there will be no pointing and laughing in the street on my watch!
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