Domestic violence. It's not big, it's certainly not clever, plus it tends to make you look like a bit of a misogynistic dickwipe if you decide to do it in public. Even more so if you decide to lay into your girlfriend (who, you know, just might be a bit famous herself) on the night of the biggest music awards ceremony in town. ls any of this sinking in yet, Chris Brown?
Brown is said to have assaulted his girlfriend Rihanna, after they fought in his car following a pre-Grammys party. According to the Daily Mirror, Rihanna is believed to have bite marks on her arms and "visible injuries" to her face after the alleged assault. There's not really much you can say to this, apart from the fact that if the rumours are correct, I'd say that Rihanna needs to find a new boyfriend. Sharpish.
More Tuesday news after the jump...
In what might possibly be the best feature in any newspaper today, the Guardian's Rory McCarthy takes us inside the tunnels which run between the Gaza strip and the Egyptian border.
Smuggling in Gaza is a semi-official business, and Gazans' use these tunnels to smuggle out goods, ranging from women's underwear and cigarettes to live goats. Whilst Israel attempted to target these tunnels during its three-week assualt on the region earlier this year, new tunnels are continually being built. There's even an insurance scheme for the families of people killed when the tunnels collapse.
In lighter news, a story in The Sun shows that Denise van Outen is looking to get a free exorcism out of Living TV's Most Haunted team. Why you ask? Well, apparently her new £1.25 million home is haunted by the ghosts of Siamese twins who died in the 12th century. The pair, known as the Biddenden Maids, were joined at the hip and shoulder. The Sun quotes a resident who doesn't wish to be named, who claims to have seen them wandering around the hall of the house. Her conclusion? It wasn't nice.
Well, bloody hell, what did you expect them to do, ask you if you could make them a brew?
And, finally, a call has gone out across Britain to save our cauliflowers! British cauliflower production has slumped by nearly a third in the last decade, as Britons shun this traditional vegetable in favour of broccoli and other imported vegetables.
This week sees the nation's cauliflower growers launch a campaign to urge us to buy more in order to save one of our traditional crops. Growers believe that many people have simply forgotten how good cauliflower is and want to encourage us to give them another try
Now, this is all very well and good in practice. But, I ask you, can you think of anything to do with cauliflower which doesn't involve smothering it in cheese or bunging it in a curry? Even celebrity chefs appear to be stumped. I was listening to a report with one (who shall remain nameless) whose only cooking method with it just involved..."making it posh and smothering it in mascarpone cheese." Oh dear. Sorry cauliflower. It looks like your days may be numbered after all.