Aren't diets brilliant? They're nearly as good as actually reading about diets in every single women's mag, but not quite as good as having maple syrup and pepper for breakfast, lunch and dinner. That's not bad, on the scale of brilliant.
So we are pleased to hear that Sexy Spanish Ruth ("YOU ARE SPANISH! SING IN SPANISH!" "But... I don't want to please Simon please please please") off of the X Factor has been losing weight because she is on the telly. Which is, I think you'll agree, a shocka.
"I have lost weight - a lot of weight, but I didn't plan it," she's been telling Heat. "I went for my dress fitting on Tuesday last week, and by Thursday they had to fix it. By Saturday it was too big for me again!"
Unlike Rachel (still reeling from that trouser suit) or Daniel ("bouffant") I always thought the X Factor stylists did a good job with Ruth. But if that impressive cleavage starts to deflate, will she make it through another week? It's like Samson and Delilah. If Samson's power was in his boobs.
Will you be watching on Saturday? Who's your ideal bottom two? I'm saying Daniel and Eoghan, but that is mighty wishful thinking.
