Yesterday's LA Times reported on the world's one and only Barbie Superstore, what is in Buenos Aires, Argentina. Five squillion square foot of pink, pink, pink, the centrepiece is the 'Casa de Barbie' - complete with life-size Barbie bedroom, Barbie beauty bars, and a Barbie catwalk for showcasing darling little Barbie outfits.
And that is all very well, but we are not interested in regular, vanilla Barbie today. Instead, we present the kitsch-tastic world of Limited Edition Barbies. Feast on the sheer magnificence of Timeless Treasures: 'Top Minx Scarlett O'Hara In The Dress Made Out of Curtains' Barbie, or 'Tippi Hedren Very Nearly Meets Her Death In The Birds' Barbie. There is a sort of wonky genius to them...
First up, here's the Scarlett O'Hara one. I used to gaze at this in Toys R Us and wonder if buying one would mean I was officially a mental:
Now, here is Low Paid & Possibly Illegal Factory Worker Barbie. Actually it is Lucille Ball, but you know, whatever.
Now, here is Hitchcock: Not Too Keen On Blondes Barbie. FYI this is real, I checked. And I want it.
Fourth, for those who believe The Truth Is Out There, we have Barbie & Ken as Mulder & Scully. They have missed a trick here by not including an alien Skipper. Perhaps she has been abducted.
I will admit to having had a ridonkulous pash on Aragorn some years back. But it was not quite pashy enough for me to buy these, which are of Arwen & The King:
According to the so-amazing-you-can-easily-misplace-an-afternoon Barbie Collector site, this doll's 'elaborate jewelry and a golden headpiece lend an air of regal sophistication'. And I quite agree. It is Queen Elizabeth I, history fans.
If ever a woman deserved to be immortalised in plastic-fantastic fashion, it was Cher. She was probably this skinny, too.
I think the target demographic for this one is rather clear. Everyone, it is 'Dorothy out of The Wizard of Oz' Barbie:
But here's the pick of the crop. This is the Platinum Collection's White Chocolate Obsession Barbie. And not only does she have an off-white charmeuse and chiffon gown with matching stole, tricot hose, white shoes and golden earrings which 'lend a final elegant note.' It is better than that, because this one ALSO HAS A SMELLY HEAD. It's apparently 'scented with the luscious aroma of white chocolate,' and you cannot say fairer than that.
For more Mattel madness, go to the Barbie Collector site.
