Many's the time I've caught myself screaming "WHERE ARE ALL THE FEMALE ROLE MODELS????????" while repeatedly slamming my laptop shut on my head. But they're around, really they are. It just takes a bit of digging. To save you time, I've come up with a list of female celebrities who've diverted some of their energies away from nude covershots over the years, and channeled them back into more brain-enlarging pursuits. I bring you... the top five women entertainers - with intelligent private lives.
1. Remember Blossom? Sure you do. The character was brainy of course, reading her Sylvia Plath and rolling her eyes at sleeveless Joey or alcoholic Anthony's hilarious antics. But did you know the actress is no slouch, herself? Mayim Bailik bagged a bachelor's degree in 2000 in neuroscience (and Hebrew and Jewish studies) and went on to the Ph.D. program in neuroscience.
2. Ah, The Wonder Years. Never quite as funny as it thought it was. The star of the show, of course, was Winnie (played by Danica McKellar) - the tall, gawky, super-straight haired light of Fred Savage's life. And maths whizz! Like Bialik, she attended the UCLA and as an undergraduate, she coauthored a scientific paper with Professor Lincoln Chayes and fellow student Brandy Winn. McKellar has since written several books about maths. Wonder what happened to Fred Savage.
3. I was ready to hate Lily 'spooky doll' Cole for being so bloody clever and beautiful, but it turns out she hasn't been to Cambridge yet. I think they're keeping her place for when she realises she's over the hill and might need to get a degree. So there is still hope! I jest of course. She's a star, and by far the best of all the celebrity Lilies.
4. Natalie Portman needs no introduction, really. Not just a nerd's masturbatory fantasy, Portman's got plenty for girls to check out too. After filming Where the Heart Is, the actress moved into Harvard University like a regular student, to pursue her bachelor's degree in psychology. During her summer breaks she filmed Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones in Sydney. Everyone's a winner.
5. And pipping Vanessa Mae to fifth place is the omnipresent Myleene Klass. You might think she's not particularly doing her reputation as a brain any favours by striding around 24/7 in a white bikini, but the fact is she's clever and talented and - almost as impressively - everyone still likes her. And did you know Myleene "has been an amateur astronomer most of her life? She's a nerd. Really, she is!
