There was an entry for astrology in largely forgotten spin-off title "The Mary Whitehouse Experience Encyclopedia". It said something like "Some people believe that the activity of planets millions of miles away on the day they were born has some kind of influence over what they should do this week".* It was funnier than that, obviously, but the sentiment is one I suspect many of us share. It's nice to believe the horoscopes, sometimes, isn't it? When we need an emotional crutch, or just some inspiration to start thinking creatively about our lives? But do all the star-readers agree? And if not, how can we weed out the REAL ones? How does a girl choose?
*(I don't remember many of the other entries. Something about not confusing atora with the aorta (a gag which had Steve Punt written all over it) and "penal system sounds a bit like penis system". A fine publication.)
I'm a Scorpio. Widely accepted to be the worst sign of the zodiac, but I came to terms with that a long time ago. So what's in store for fellow 'sting in the tails', according to the various mystics?
The Daily Mail
Over-optimism could trip you up today. Try not to promise more than you can deliver. Your intentions are good but you may be getting too enthusiastic. Mercury, the conversational planet, is in your chart area which rules expansive ideas and long distance travel. So you want to have a wider range of interests. You have the chance to travel around on short distance hops, though you can try to pack too much into your schedule.
Wow. Over-optimism sure isn't a problem now I've read that bleak forecast. "Women - know your limits!" says the Mail. Can't say I'm too surprised. 1/10
The Sun
Mind-sharpening Mercury patrols your new horizons chart and you see how much is still out there for you. Ideas you have today have a touch of genius and a place on a training course for you, or a relative, could be a smart move.
Resist rushing love that deserves more time.
Mystic Meg also sounds a note of caution. Albeit alongside the contradictory message of 'new horizons' and the doubtless true message that I'll have some genius ideas today. Intrigued by the reassuringly banal prediction that I or someone I know might get a place on a training course. Still, generally more positive. 6/10
The Star
Though again you may be travelling independently, you might need to take a slight detour today. More importantly, you could encounter something different, and tell yourself this is not happening! Don't dawdle or linger anyway because someone else could take your place and make it their own.
Justin Toper is lively but again, there's the warning. As with The Mail, travel comes up again. While both The Mail and Meg tell me to take my time, Justin seems to stress the opposite - don't linger? Someone's waiting to take my place? Crikey. I'm a bit frightened by the exclamation mark in the second sentence, if I'm completely honest. 4/10
The Mirror
Today's Full Moon is a special bonus and if you're hoping for a little victory somewhere or a move forward in another place, it's all possible. With Mercury's powerful injection of co-operative energy, you'll get your calculations right, stop situations stagnating and have the courage to let go of what's no longer viable in terms of your future growth.
Debbie Frank reckons I can do no wrong. And it's all because of the moon or something. Well, I'll let that one slide cos I likes the sounds of this. Mercury - "mind-sharpening" to The Sun, and "conversational" in the Mail, is characterised here as a kind of benevolent doctor, or Mother Nature in the Superted cartoons, dosing me up with "co operative energy". I didn't really understand the rest, but it sounds jolly nice. 9/10
Google
Be sure to take advantage of any opportunities for serious or penetrating conversation today. As long as you're willing to be open-minded, there could be a lot for you to learn. You should be curious to explore some new things right now if given the chance. And you might want to revisit some old issues that have been weighing on your mind for a while as well.
I know, Google has horoscopes now! Let's give it a chance though. Also appears to be working on the assumption that Mercury has something to do with conversations. So I should look at exploring new things, definitely new ones. But not forgetting the old things. What I should do will be something to do with new things and old things. Chillingly accurate. 6/10
