Today is my 23rd birthday, and while I could simply write a list of all the terribly expensive things I would love to have magically show up on my doorstep, I thought I would write something a little less materialistic. There are lots of things that I wish would happen in the world, such as the end of the war in Iraq, the end of poverty and that someone would finally find a cure for cancer.
However, seeing as I'm a silly feminist that thinks that women's issues are super important, I thought I would focus on the things I would like to change for women, instead of focusing on wars or the cost of gas in the States. So! My birthday wish list this year is simply a humble wish list of all the things I wish would change for women:
Read my birthday wish list after the jump!
Wish #1: For women to learn how to speak up!
One of the biggest problems I've always had with myself and other women is that we're so fucking afraid of having a god damn opinion. I consider myself very opinionated, however, I still have far too many moments where I hesitate to say what I think when asked. If we all had more confidence in ourselves and our opinions, I think we'd find our relationships with other women and ourselves would be much more genuine.
WIsh #2 For women and men to be paid equally
Wouldn't it be absolutely fantastic if women and men were paid equally? According to the Fawcett Society: "Women working full-time earn on average 17% less per hour than men working full-time and for women working part-time the gap is 36% per hour." I personally believe that if the wage gap were closed, this would reflect that many of the other inequalities between men and women have been resolved.
There are far too many of us working 9-5 and getting paid shit. If we all were paid as we should, more women would be given financial independence - something that is invaluable. If women were truly financially dependent, I believe we would have less women in abusive relationships, less women working in dead-end jobs, and more women in industries like computer science, where the pay gap is considerable.
Wish #3 For teenage girls to never start reading magazines like Cosmopolitan
When I was younger, I felt like a grownup whenever I read magazines like Cosmo-girl, YM or Seventeen. However, looking back, I think a lot of my fucked up views about boys, myself, my body and sex were rooted in what I read in magazines aimed at girls my age. Sadly, a lot of girls find out about sex from reading these magazines, which is really dangerous. If parents would get over their stupid fear of speaking to their daughters about sex, masturbation and healthy relationships, their daughters would learn that there's nothing to be ashamed of, and wouldn't go running to stupid magazines for their answers.
Wish #4 For women to realize that we don't have to be perfect
Far too many of us are after a perfect body, a perfect wedding, a perfect family and a perfect job. Perfect does not exist, even though the media and women with personal trainers, personal chiefs, plastic surgery and a severe case of Bulimia would have us believe otherwise. Perfect does not exist. We can all nod and laugh it off and say, "Well, duh. I know that. I'm not trying to be perfect, I'm just trying to be happy!" But that is a lie. We are all in some way shape or form desperately seeking perfection. Stop it. It's never going to happen. (Now if only I could convince myself of that...)
WIsh #5 For women to stop taking out their unhappiness and insecurities on other women
Now, while men are guilty of this, too, my main issue is with women who are so unhappy and so miserable in their own skin, that they take out their misery and self loathing on the other women in their lives. Just because you hate that you can't stop eating KFC for dinner every night does not mean that it's okay to shit all over your colleague simply because she's thinner and seemingly happier than you are. Every woman you know has something going on beneath the surface, and she does not deserve to be treated like crap just because you are having a bad day. (Or year, whatever.)
I'm not asking women to walk on eggshells with each other or to be fake. I'm simply asking you to swallow your misery and to get some perspective on reality. If you're finding this is too difficult to do - get some professional help. Trust me. Taking a lunch break or two a week to go and speak to someone who can help you get a grip is going to be much more affective than wasting three hours a day bitching and complaining about how horrible life is.
Cate Sevilla is a freelance writer in London and a regular contributer to Dollymix.tv.