AOL Body has a really *informative* article called "Questions To Ask Before Having An Affair". Now, while I've never been a cheater, I'm going to suspect that the people who do enter into affairs and are fucking their husband's best friend haven't exactly failed to think about what they're doing. In fact, I'm going to put money on the fact that they have thought about the consequences and what would happen if they got caught, but they just don't care.
But, for some reason AOL Body still thinks that their slideshow of hot people in suggestive positions with accompanying questions is really going to help stop someone from cheating. So, for those of you morons out there who are thinking of cheating, here's a few of the questions AOL thinks you should ask yourself before you have an affair, complete with my ever-so helpful answers, after the jump!
Q. Why am I even thinking about this?
AOL says: "If more people asked themselves this question there would be fewer affairs,"
I say: "Because you're a jerk."
Q. Am I entitled to an affair?
AOL says: "People feel entitled to a fulfilling sexual relationship. And if it's not with their spouse, they may try to find it outside of the marriage bed."
I say: "No."
Q. Am I in love with the other person?
AOL says: "So often this question is answered by the groin, not the brain."
I say: "No. You just want to have sex with them. A lot. Once you've run out of positions you'll realize that they're just as boring as your husband. (Who you obviously shouldn't have married, by the way.)"
Q.How will my spouse feel?
AOL says: "It's so important to consider your partner's feelings."
I say: "How will your spouse feel? Like shit. You'll pretty much ruin their life and crap all over their self esteem and self worth. But who cares about that! You FINALLY got to bone your PA!"
Q. How would I feel if my spouse was the one that is cheating?
AOL says: "This question confronts the narcissism of cheating."
I say: "You would be perfectly understanding. It wouldn't bother you a bit! You've been boning the nanny, so what difference does it make if your wife cheated on you with your cousin!"
For more helpful advice from AOL, go here.