Dear Dollymix...

People visit this site for all kinds of reasons. A lot, I have discovered, just want naked pictures of Carla Bruni, or want to know what the pink patch is. But some of you come here desperately needing our help, and who am I to say no? Here are my insightful responses some of the questions and searches that have lead people to Dollymix in recent weeks...

Can you be fat and well dressed?
- I really, really hope so. Otherwise I'm in trouble.

How can I airbrush family photos?
- Befriend a geek with photoshop skillzorz. Or get a new family.

Where can I find drunk female pics?
- Ever heard of facebook?

Rules for speed dating
- Lower your expectations. Don't wear a pink shirt.

Can I have sex while I have a flu
- Er, I'd stay away from oral.

Can I trust a guy I meet on craigslist?
- There's always a chance he told the truth. Did you?

Were[sic] can i get free sex lessons?
- Craigslist?

How can I hold my hamster?
- Bribe it. Mine likes sunflower seeds and music by The Kooks.

Bikini waxing is it painful?
- Hell yes.

Can I have sex with a 4" penis?
- If you're rich and have a very good personality

Can i diet to lose weight while pregnant?
- Yes if you're an idiot

Where can I buy Vulva perfume
- Please don't buy it. Seriously.

How can i pull a girl i like?
- Buy her expensive jewellery. Or shoes.

Yummy gay men
- Oh, go on then...

Buy my implants
- No thanks, I'm saving up for a Nintendo Wii.

I hate Victoria Beckham
- Oh, can't we all just get along?

Words women hate
- Diet, non-alcoholic, football, threesome.

Ugly men attractive women
- Yeah, not fair is it?

Katie lee porn
- Er, Katie, is there something you're not telling me?

The inspiration for this feature was one of my absolute favourite bloggers, Winona, whose 'Inadvertently Ask Daddy Likey' feature frequently has me in stitches. [image: Someecards]

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