Motherhood: OK, OK, I'll frickin exercise!

Natalie Lue writes...I stepped out of the shower on Sunday and walked past the mirror and caught sight of my untoned stomach mocking me and stomped up to the bedroom. "Boyf! Why didn't you tell me that I'm fat?" I roared and my mind was quickly brought back to the episode of Shameless where Mimi Maguire roars at her drug dealing husband "I have to face it...I'm a fat f*ck.." followed by even more expletives.

Now I know, I'm not actually fat but when I look at myself in the mirror, I see a slim girl with baby weight around the stomach. The whole "I HAVE HAD A C-SECTION YOU KNOW!" excuse can't go on for much longer. The bambino will be a year old at the end of May and unless I pretend I've managed to push out another one, this excuse has reached the end of the line and it's time for me to face the fact that: the sit-up fairy is not going to wave her frickin wand whilst I'm sleeping and it's time for me to exercise. Ugh!

I have really wanted to join the gym (I know! I know! I've been meaning to join for ages) but it's like there is something or someone out there that doesn't want me to join. I was planning to pop across the street to them on Saturday (yes I know - shame on me when they are literally a stones throw away) and I fell up and then down the stairs, smacking the crap out of my knee and rendering me incapable of walking without pain never-mind exercising.

The previous week, I slipped with the stupid lightweight pushchair when I forgot that it doesn't go over curbs easily. I saved the bambino from tipping over but bruised up my knee pretty badly. Oh dear, I couldn't join the gym as I needed to recover... The week before that I smacked my other knee on the corner of the heavy armchairs that the boyf insisted on getting and the bruise was also pretty nasty. I think the week before that was when I collapsed from food poisoning.... Are you getting the picture?

Aside from being a clumsy fool, life just keeps throwing curve balls at my knees and they whisper "Don't join the gym Natalie! Eat an éclair instead! Watch sneaky episodes of Big Brother USA and rest yourself!"

I don't believe in succumbing to pressure to lose weight after having a baby, but to be fair, I've hardly let the pressure bother me. I'm actually only realising that I really should exercise over nine months after I had the bambino and it's because I actually feel ready. I want to look good. I don't want to be a twig - I like my bigger bum and curves - I just don't need 'Hooch' (dog with droopy face from 80s Tom Hanks film) hanging over the waistband of my jeans reminding me that I have actually been rather lazy about the whole exercise thing.

So I started the sit-ups on Sunday literally minutes after the "fat f*ck" debacle and reassurances from the boyf that I'm not fat, just in need of exercise. In true Natalie style I forgot the sit-ups yesterday so I had to make up for them today and the boyf has agreed to be my taskmaster and we're both joining the gym. Yay!

It's actually at moments like this when I 'almost' feel for celebrities. I'm just an ordinary woman that loves blogging but there are women in the public eye that feel an immense pressure to lose weight and certainly couldn't have got away with holding on to their flabby tummy for over nine months. I say 'almost' because if they didn't tout their latest fitness regimes all over the mags and declare how the weight glided off them, a lot of women wouldn't inadvertently feel pressured about losing weight in the first place. All of these declarations are PR hype and when they say they lost it through breastfeeding, personal trainer, or 'just a few hours' at the gym, they really mean faddy diet, practically having dysentery from laxatives or slimming pills, or lypo.

There will be no wonder diet declarations from me. I don't want to lose weight, I just want to tone up and get on with enjoying my life. But I have accepted that the time has come and it's time to say bye, bye to the "I HAVE HAD A C-SECTION YOU KNOW!" declaration and accept that it's time for this girl to work it and work out.

Natalie Lue is currently on maternity leave and plans to release her own fitness video...not!

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