Motherhood: apparently maternity leave is a 'career break'

Natalie Lue writes...

I had The Big Discussion about me returning to work and some horrible little words were uttered. No, he didn't say "When is the baby due?" but he did say "Well you have had a career break".

Now call me insane, but since when is going on maternity leave considered to be a "career break"? Is this what Those Who Can't Give Birth With a Penis and Two Balls believe maternity leave is all about? If so, therein lies the crux of the problem because if this is how employers perceive you taking the time that they claim you're entitled to, it's no wonder that so many women struggle when they do return to work.

I don't think any woman perceives her workplace and its promotions being like a game of musical chairs where the music stops until she returns, but what chance do we stand if we return and there are your peers and People Who Can Shape Your Career essentially thinking that you're lagging behind because you've had a feckin' "career break"?

Back in the day, gap years weren't quite de rigour when I was a late teen but heading off to the US for a summer was. They were times of drunkenness and self-discovery which if you didn't do by the time you reached your early twenties, it was OK because you could still up sticks and go travelling around Asia and Australia if the whim overtook you. Even now, I have friends who have reached their thirties and thought "Shag it! I'll leave my big job, put my home up for rent and go travelling for a year". Now most of these people weren't exactly making the earth move career wise whilst they were having to wee in the bushes and travel in rickety buses, but you'd be hard pushed to find one of them who didn't return to a job of equal stature, or in some cases, an even better job! In fact, many employers look favourably on people who 'take some time out' to travel and embrace new experiences on their journeys.

Now I appreciate that I haven't spent the last year wiping my bum with leaves and singing around a camp fire, but why do I, or any other woman for that matter, have to be regarded as someone who has had a career break where she essentially pushed out her brain cells as she brought life into the world? If I opted to take a few years out to raise the bambino I could certainly understand the comment but I don't see the point in giving women the option to take up to a year if in effect, they will be penalised for it on their return.

I think I can safely say that most women don't regard having a baby as a break. I hate to break it to the species with a penis but someone has to do it and until they can step up to the plate, carry the baby for nine months, and be entitled to up to a years maternity leave, I suggest they pull their heads out of the Dark Ages and get real about their attitudes and how throwaway comments only suffice to marginalise women further. I always say as a rule of thumb "Would you like someone to be making the same comment to your wife/girlfriend/daughter?"

For those who haven't necessarily followed my work saga, I actually returned to work in January for a whole four days. I arrived on the 2nd of January believing that it was super urgent for me to be there for my new role, only to discover that not only was the job not ready (barely existent) but I hadn't so much as a desk, phone, or laptop. Me who had brought in millions of pounds for my company over my almost five year employment, firefighted for three years, and generally had to do more than my actual job role, couldn't get so much as a frickin' Crayola on my return. When I asked my manager (now no longer there...) if we could sit down to discuss my role, he replied in front of everyone "Well I was hoping that you could tell me! I don't know what you're doing!"

I learnt a valuable lesson from those four demoralising days and my entire maternity leave: No matter how much work you've done, no matter how much you think they 'care', and no matter how much smoke they blow up your arse, always remember that from the moment you said that you're pregnant, everything changes. There are lots of positives like having the actual baby and the rewarding time you spend with them but unfortunately the downside is that it's difficult for your work colleagues and People Who Can Shape Your Career to regard you in the same 'stature'. You're no longer Natalie, highly valued with lots of experience. You're Natalie that's had a baby and a career break.

Fortunately I like to have my bases covered so I quite enjoyed saying that I had been freelancing and working from home. Turns out that whilst they thought I was having a "career break", I've been making a new career and have become self-employed. I recognise that not all mothers have this option but if you can find a way of freelancing your skills or being your own boss, grab it with both baby food encrusted hands because at least your new employer will place a higher value on you...

Natalie Lue is currently on maternity leave self-employed - yay!

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