A British woman's response to Tad Safran's Times column

Gemma Cartwright writes...

So our good friend Tad Safran is back, spitting yet more vitriol at British women. You'd have thought he'd have learned his lesson the first time, but nope, yet more sweeping generalisation and male chauvinism has found its way onto the pages of The Times this week. I know I'm pandering to him by even choosing to respond, especially since Cate has already made her feelings clear, but as a British woman I felt it was my duty to have an indulgent little moan too. I'll start with this little gem of a quote, just as a taster of the joy that is to come.

"I can’t help feeling I’ve let British women off lightly. It’s not just the Americans you don’t compare to: British women don’t have the curves of the Italians, the simmering sexuality of the Spanish, the sophistication of the French or the openness of the Scandinavians."

What I find hilarious about this whole thing is the way he's pigeonholed every nation so easily. Reading that, it makes it easier for me to take the rest of his ridiculous column with a pinch of salt. Yes, there are women in this country who obviously don't look in the mirror before they leave the house. But there are also plenty who look absolutely amazing every time they walk out the door. I know because I've met them, worked with them, admired them and - in the case of my mother - been raised by them.

Similarly there are lots of irritatingly chic French women who look like they've stepped straight off the Chanel catwalk. But there are also those who never take off their stonewashed jeans and feel the need to shout 'salope' (slut) at a girl just because she's wearing heels (this actually happened to a friend of mine). Safran is essentially just an idiot writing a very lazy, stereotype-ridden column just to get a response and some extra page views. To say that all Brits are badly groomed fatties is like saying all women on the continent smell and don't shave under their arms or all American women are brash, trashy blondes with big hair and fake boobs. It's just not true.

I've been described more than once as an English Rose. That might be pushing it, but I am unmistakably British. Angle Saxon all the way. My (natural) hair colour is dishwater blonde, my skin is pale and covered in moles and freckles, my eyes are a nondescript shade of sludge green and I'm a size 14, which on my 5'7 frame is a bit curvier than I'd like to be, but not unhealthy BMI-wise. I am, essentially, exactly the type of woman Safran is talking about. The personification of the phrase 'could try harder'.

But to be honest, I don't really want to try harder, especially if the type of man I attract is anything like our good friend Tad. I'm not going to defend myself for sometimes - sometimes - not giving a shit. I do my part. I colour my hair, I wax, I pluck, I preen, I spritz. I take pride in how I look, but I don't spend every waking hour trying to perfect all the bits I'm not so keen on. Life is way too short. Sometimes I'd rather have the extra ten or fifteen minutes in bed and skip the full face of makeup and the 15 minute hair straightening session. It may be a tiny bit hypocritical for a woman who makes a living working in fashion to say we put too much emphasis on how we look but I really don't care. It's also hypocritical for a thoroughly average looking man like Tad Safran to expect perfection from every woman, and to bitch at us for having better things to do than spend hours in the beauty salon. And nope, none of those better things involve "eating femur-sized Toblerones while watching EastEnders."

I do agree that there are women out there who seem to have given up. But to say such a thing only happens in the UK is absolute rubbish.

Tad Safran, if you don't like that, you know what you can do. Bugger off, and on the way, kiss my 'lardy' arse.

Gemma Cartwright is Shiny Media's fashion editor. She makes money from other people's vanity. She still thinks Tad Safran is an arsehole.

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