Now I like to shop, a LOT, and in the past this has caused certain cash flow issues that aren't easily solved. The problem is I am addicted, and though I accept this, not many other people do. I am drawn to the comforting sound of the till ringing up, the fresh smell of new carrier bags and to the ghastly lit stores that could hold the outfit of my dreams. I try to cut back, honestly, but then I just find my Tesco shop seems to get more expensive as I start buying Florence and Fred items, or pausing in the cereal isle over the latest new cereal of the week.
See, it's any shops that do it for me, and supermarkets do provide me with the same thrill I get in Topshop. As long as I can loiter on my own for around an hour I'm happy enough, but then my bank balance starts sending me sad emoticons and i have to reconsider. The problem is I actually get physical withdrawal if I don't visit shops, I can manage for a couple of days and then I start feeling shaky, getting more cranky and fidgeting at work. See, if this was kleptomania people might be sympathetic, but as it is they just look confused and say, 'You don't need to shop'. I beg to differ.
And I need actual physical shops too.My work online on sites such as The Baglady and Shoewawa only serve to heighten by addiction, when one might think they'd placate it, no I need colours and light and touch to fulfill my cravings and woe betide anyone who stands in my way. I have to wander down the rails, stroke the fabrics, sniff the air, and anything less than at least an hour just won't do. I try and compromise by popping into the local New Look for 20 minutes on my lunch break but all that does if feed the shopping urge.
I realise that this may sound silly to many people, and I know that shopping fever is not a harmful syndrome, indeed it just plays into the feckless consumerist world we live in, but I can't help it. It'd the desire to see, to touch, to possess and it's difficult. I have cut back somewhat; I have now trained myself out of buying that 'bargain' as I no longer want a cupboard full of pieces I think I'll fit into one day, and this has reduced my outlay (and wardrobe space) considerably. I've also learned that the size of the item doesn't matter, as be it a ring or a ballgown, the purchase is what matters most, and I only ever buy stuff I like, so it always feels good.
But I don't want to live like this always, as much as I enjoy seeing new cuts and colours, or adding to my gadget collection with useless USB tat, I wish that it could be just something I enjoyed, not something I have to do. When holidaying or traveling shops are my first port of call, and I'm one of those embarrassed people who admit to sometimes going to a museum just for the gift shop.
But I love to shop, and as long as the world I live in is Westernized it will never really be a problem getting my fix. once or twice a week browsing round oxford street normally works for me, and I have discovered a fabulous new way of saving- not buying clothes! Yes, I'll look , I'll try on, and if I lurve I'll buy, but if I'm only in like I'll wait till it gets reduced and snap it up then, hence my wardrobe full of clothes I'm actually fond of, rather than whims and one off purchases. So here's to money management and shopping, rather than seeing them as separate entities.
