house_wifey.jpgIn Sandra Parson's column this week, she explains to women why they should never stop working: because your partner could leave you, become disabled, or die. Yes. It's true. Sandra shares with us a story about how her friend "Anna" was unmarried but lived with her long time boyfriend and had two children with him. After their first child was born, she quit working to stay at home, and her boyfriend "Harry" gave her £80 to clean the house; no more, no less. Anna became incredibly depressed and when she decided to leave Harry, he told her they were his kids, their house was his, and because she didn't have any money, she would be homeless if she left.

Parsons explains that the law offers no rights to cohabitees and that there are no rights for maintenance, or asset sharing. Also, the Civil Partnership Bill offers no protection to anyone who has not registered their relationship, so, even if you have kids, the law doesn't protect you against certain things. So what's a girl to do? According to Parsons, you should never stop working. EVER.

Parsons certainly doesn't sugarcoat her feelings on why women should never stop working:

"Don’t have children if he won’t marry you or enter into a civil partnership agreement. If he can’t commit to that, then how do you expect him to commit to being a good father? Get a career. Work at it. Do not give it up, not even if you have children – not even if you get married, actually, because it will still be there as a protection and succour should your husband die, become disabled or leave you."

Okay. Let's see. My own personal standpoint on work, and choosing to stay home, is that financially depending on someone else SUCKS. I depended on my husband financially for 9 months because, well, I wasn't legally aloud to work in the UK, and we had no choice. As soon as I could, I got work, and HOLY GOD do I feel better. I can shop. We have a dual income and we can afford, ya know, food and clothes. But, the most important thing, is that I am financially responsible for myself, have no guilt when I buy something nice for myself, and my mental health is so much better now that I have outside contact with adults, other than Richard and Judy.

If you can afford to stay home, and really want to stay home and cook and clean and take care of your children, I respect you and your choice. If that is 100% what you want to be doing, that's fantastic. My opinion is that working part time, or volunteering if you don't need the money, is essential to creating a balance in your life. That is what should be one's motivation for working and being financially independent...not the fear that you'll get divorced or that your husband will die.

Yes, of course, there's always the chance that you'll get divorced, or something will happen to the bread winner of the house. Yes, it's good to plan ahead. Sandra has a very good point. I just don't think it's FEAR that should make you want to work and make your own money.

Cate Sevilla is the Editor of Dollymix. She has a job and can pay for her own tampons and can spend £100 at Top Shop without needing to hide the bag and receipt from her husband.