Getting up in the morning is one of life's more sucky things to do, but unless you intend to stay in there festering away all day and to ignore the mounting bills, you've got to get out there. Pretty much every single day. But somehow, when it's warm in your bed and raining outside, it's not easy.
Among one of my weird compulsions is an absolute obsession with not being late. Seriously. Being late makes me panic and sweat and worry and conclude that whoever I'm late for now really really hates me. I also really like my sleep. This has led me to perfect a 30 minute routine for getting ready, which I am now prepared to share with you.
Prepare the night before
I think I get this from my mother. She used to make sure I had all my homework, sports kit, money for the bullies etc prepared every night before school. Now, I make sure I've got all the right stuff in my bag, my clothes are chosen (including underwear) and I've got the money for the bullies the night before. There's no room for AM spontaneity in my routine, people.
Snooze, a lot
My bedside clock is set 10 minutes fast, so I've always got a bit of spare time to play with. It's also set to go off 30 minutes before I need to get up, so I can hit my snooze button four times. Everyone loves the snooze button (except the occasional boyfriend who finds this whole routine supremely annoying).
Cater to the Peeping Toms
I don't shut my curtains fully. Great news for the neighbours, and also means that I get a bit of natural light waking me up. The gap actually falls across my face, so I've got no choice but to get up, just to prevent blinding by the sun. Not so useful with the darker mornings though - I'm seriously considering buying a sun lamp.
Make it warm
Make sure your heating and hot water is set to turn on at least 30 minutes before you get up - there's nothing worse than getting up to a cold house. If you can, stick your towel on a radiator the night before, so that it's toasty when you get out of the shower.
Involve other people
I live with a couple of other people, and we all know which order we get to go in the shower. It's not anything we've ever discussed - we just *know*. Again, routine is key.
Take a walk on the wild side
It takes me four minutes and seven seconds to shower. How do I know this? It's the exact length of Take a Walk on the Wild Side by Lou Reed. I play my iPod in the shower, both to amuse me (I find the shower really boring) and to keep a track on how long I'm taking - if I make it to the end of the Stairway to Heaven I've been in there far too long (I never do - it only ever takes me 4 minutes seven seconds...).
Did I mention routine?
I do the same thing every morning. I don't faff, procrastinate or indulge in idle banter. Yes, this makes me dull and tedious (in the mornings. I'm fun and spontaneous the rest of the day, I promise). It also makes me fast.
Indulge
One of the reasons I get out the door so fast is because saving the extra time means that I can get the bus rather than the tube. I hate the tube, so this makes it totally worth it. The time saved means you can walk to work and get some air, get in a bit of shopping or just go for a coffee.
Don't skip breakfast, kids
Most important meal, starts metabolism, blah, blah. Having breakfast at work saves time, saves dishes, and is actually quite a nice way to start the day. A bowl of cereal, a cup of tea, and going through my emails. Lovely.
Susi Weaser is the editor of Shiny Shiny, and would like some to share their top tips on drinking without a hangover