Natlie Lue writes...
I have to say that it really irritates me the way women are portrayed in the media and how articles are churned out to chip away at women’s self esteem and choices. An article in The Guardian which discusses doctors claiming that freezing eggs and it’s success rate is unproven which can lead to false hope states: “Egg freezing is increasingly being sought by women in their mid-30s and upwards who fear they may be too old to become pregnant by the time they are ready to start a family.” Doctors are concerned about these women being exploited and feel that women should steer clear of this option when they are healthy.
I don’t deny that there are career driven women out there who can find that they put having a baby and starting a family on the backburner, but a woman choosing to have her eggs frozen is not a decision that is taken lightly or the immediate easy option that the modern woman defers to. One of the side effects of us being empowered and having more control over determining when we become mothers (or even if we become mothers) is that sometimes it starts to feel like time is running out. Or you watch TV and read articles that cater to the insecurity that your biological clock is ticking and you’ll be childless and on the shelf if you don’t pop a sprog pronto. This isn’t easy information to digest if your life has not caught up with your desire to have a child and you may not even have a man you consider special enough to stay over for the whole night, never mind make babies with!
But it’s this statement: “But some healthy women pay to have their eggs frozen while in their 20s and 30s as an insurance policy, in case they have not settled into a relationship before their fertility begins to decline at the age of 35.”
“Insurance policy”?! We can talk about equality and empowerment all we like, but the fact remains that the one thing that we have very little control over with scarce ability to empower is reproduction. I am bored of these articles that are quick to take women to task for making decisions like this but how often do the media send the message to men that they should reproduce and that the clock is ticking? Oh but of course they don’t need to because as long as the penis can rise (or at the very least there are some swimmers in there), they appear to have all the time in the world.
Any fertility clinic worth its salt will explain the risks and possible success rate (or lack of it) to any woman that is freezing her eggs. It’s not about false hope but more like some hope. Clearly there are risks and problems and nobody is denying that, but why should women keep themselves in poor relationships just so that they can have babies? There are so many problems out there with dating and relationships that are creating more and more commitment-phobic men and women and making it harder for us to find that special someone. The world is not teaching us how to cope with the myriad of social issues between the sexes that are making it more and more difficult for people to forge long term, committed relationships.
In an ideal world, these women could work out whatever issues they may have that are causing a lack of relationship success, find a guy, get pregnant and hey presto, problem solved, but we’re not in an ideal world, and I think until some of these people have walked in the shoes of a woman who is genuinely frightened that she may not even get a chance to have a go at reproducing, they shouldn’t be so quick to shut down this option. However that said there has only been 3602 eggs frozen in 8 years which I would hardly describe as an epidemic… There are a hell of a lot more men stalling the reproductive process – Why not target them with some articles about not leaving things too late….
Natalie Lue is currently on maternity leave and thankful that she didn't have to dip into the deepfreeze to have her baby...
