The Metro never fails to have at least one story that makes me want to either laugh or throw up. Today in their Metro Digest section, they have a story about a woman who squirted her breast milk at a store detective when he discovered her trying to shop lift. I'm sure Bill Maher would love this story.
"A would-be shoplifter squirted her breast milk at a store detective when he tried to stop her pinching goods. The woman exposed her breasts and fired away after being confronted at a Co-op store. The attack in Leicester is thought to be the latest in a trend in which thieves try to get their DNA on security officers so they can accuse them of sexual attacks if caught."
It would be interesting to find out how 'they' know it's all part of the plan to accuse security cards of sexual assault if caught shoplifting. My doubts are because it's a lot easier to spit on someone than get your boob out and skirt milk all over them if you are trying to get DNA on them. Also, what are shoplifters supposed to do if they aren't lactating??
My baby-squashed bladder almost emptied as I read that. Nothing that good happens at my local Co-op!