Women! Can't live with 'em, can't batter them over the head and dump them in the nearest ditch...! Ho, isn't it hilarious that they all love pink, spend all day thinking about shoes and can't change a tyre to save their lives!!
Patronising? Embarrassing? Imagine if it was a fellow girl who was saying that. Well, actually, don't imagine. Just read the list of features that Marie Claire included on their alternative to the iPhone - the ShePhone: Vibrator. Condom dispenser. Xanax dispenser. Corkscrew. Pregnancy test. Yep, Marie Claire are going to have you peeing on your phone. I wonder what that does to the warranty?
Yes, I get it. It's a joke. They don't *really* think we will wee on our gadgets. But honestly, these features create an image of a women who spends equal parts of her day shagging, drinking and chilling on anti-anxiety drugs. Not cool. Especially when we're still trying to explain to manufacturers that we're going to need more than a splash of pink paint to create a gadget that appeals to women.
The one redeeming feature of the phone was the mace dispenser, although the effect was somewhat neutralised when it was combined with a perfume dispenser (in their own words "just be sure to pick the right setting!"). It's somewhat of a surprise that the phone was created by a fellow female gadget blogger, Mia Kim, from Popgadget. [Update: Mia has replied to this discussion on Wired, saying she had little to do with the final product, but is just happy that technology is being featured in women's magazines].
What would I have put in? A battery that lasts for weeks at a time. A GPS system that you can use to navigate, and can also pinpoint your position in an emergency. An indestructible casing for all the times I drop it. In fact, scratch that - indestructible and waterproof. A feature that alerts you when your friends are in the area. Hundreds of gigs of memory.
Xanax compartment? Not so much.
Susi Weaser is the editor of Shiny Shiny, and would rather have an iPhone. This article originally appeared on Shiny Shiny.
