Femina Potens: 1,000 paper cranes - part two of our interview with Kati Kim
Part two of Kate Kotler's exclusive interview with Kati Kim...
On 17 February, 2007, Kati, her daughters, and James’ family and friends gathered in Golden Gate Park to remember and celebrate his life. There were thousands of people who were touched by the heroism of James Kim, touched by Kati’s amazing resilience and character following her rescue, and touched with the idea of wanting Penelope and Sabine to grow up understanding how moved the world had been by their father’s dedication to his family. It was the heroism which took his life which joined them together to remember this truly remarkable man.
It was an uncharacteristically warm, sunny February day in Golden Gate Park that featured friends speaking about what James had meant to them, a children’s craft table, fire dancers, Native American drummers, opera singers, DJs, and the famous HoopGirl. One thousand colorful paper cranes fluttering in the breeze. The day epitomized the joyful way that James and Kati lived their lives, with families sitting on blankets showing their love and people danced to their own internal rhythms. The celebration continued on past sundown.
Read part two of Kate Kotler’s exclusive interview with Kati Kim after the jump:
In his Yelp review of the day, Dan Simoes says, "Given the very public nature of James Kim's death, and the way in which so many of us followed the story, it would make sense to have a public memorial."
In our conversation, Kati was kind enough to share with me some thoughts on how she would like the world to remember her husband; and, the efforts being made in her husband’s name to bring emerging technology to Bay Area school children:
KK: Your late husband had an impressive reputation within the world of technology: could you tell me some other things about him – as a husband, father or person – that you would like the world to remember him by?
Kati: A really good example is: I keep finding poems all over my house… I keep finding all of these little poems that James wrote for me, that either I didn’t know about; or, I was just used to the attention from him and didn’t pay attention to… It may be a combination, actually. He used to write me all these poems and stories… cards.
He always took off work for all the kid’s dental appointments, doctor appointments – he wanted to do things as a family – he was super proud to be a dad. He was really good at it.
He was really good at being a dad.
KK: Can you tell me a little bit about the James Kim Technology Foundation?
Kati: Basically the whole point of it is to benefit technology programs in under funded inner city San Francisco schools. It’s a non-profit foundation with a couple of different areas that it will focus on. Hopefully, it will bring some emerging technology into the schools that need them. There are a lot schools in SF that don’t have technology. KK: Will the foundation benefit schools outside of San Francisco? Kati: Not really. We are in a part of the United States where technology really impacts our economy. And, it’s important that all kids in this area have equal access to technology. Yeah, right now San Francisco is pretty much our focus. I’m pretty excited because I was a school teacher before I had kids; and, there is a huge disparity between private schools and public schools… I taught at a private school where they had whole classrooms worth of iBooks – do you remember when iBooks first came out and they were brightly colored? KK: Yeah, I remember that. Kati: Yeah, so there was a whole room full of them. Basically, all kids at the private school had access to the Internet and the teachers took computers from room to room, so that was pretty cool, right? Then I taught at a public high school where they didn’t even have one good computer. And, so many kids didn’t have access to WiFi or computers, even. I remember James got some computers donated through TechTV – I don’t know where he got them from, but he got them – he hooked them up for the school and it was really exciting. KK: Are you doing any fundraising? Kati: Yes, we can accept checks and donations [of technology,] it’s totally tax deductible. KK: I know – because, I do, too – that you participate in the online community of Yelp: How has this helped you in the past year? Has your perspective of this kind of friendship/online interaction changed drastically one way or another? Kati: Oh yeah, totally. First of all I was really, really happy that I had Yelp to record our experiences together as a family. It’s the only real journal I have of our last months together as a family. That is priceless. And, then I met a lot of people who really – you know – helped me a lot and were supportive. It was nice to feel like I had a sense of community. KK: Have you had any negative experiences online? Kati: The first couple of months after I came home I couldn’t sleep very well. I would get up early in the morning and read what people would say about us on their personal blogs – and a lot of it was really very negative, a lot was completely made up – which made sense, I guess, because I wasn’t giving any interviews. Then I realized no good could come of reading that stuff, it wasn’t helpful, so I stopped reading blogs; and, didn’t watch the news for a really long time, either. KK: I read that you have a tattoo on the inside of your wrist. I know we had chatted about your tattoo online; because I’m getting a tattoo on the inside of my arm and I asked you for an artist recommendation. Can you tell me about your tattoo and what inspired it? Kati: My husband had my name tattooed on his wrist, so I got one that mirrors it. Except his had a heart and mine has angel wings. I have another tattoo that matches one my husband had on my back, we got them when we met about ten years ago – we got them a month after we met. KK: You got matching tattoos after knowing each other for one month? That must be true love then. Kati: Yeah, totally. KK: When you talk with Penelope and Sabine about what happened to your family – and, about their father – what do you say to them to help them process and cope with all that has happened? Kati: Sabine doesn’t talk yet, she’s too little. She just says “Mama.” But, Penelope: she was there along with us the whole time, she remembers everything in as much detail and as well as I do. We’re very frank when we talk about it. We cry sometimes because we miss James and we talk about him. We talk about it. She definitely remembers it all really well. KK: This column is inspired by my Mom, who has been my own greatest role model as a woman: Can you tell me what women have inspired you in your life and how? Kati: My maternal grandmother was pretty cool. She had seven kids and was married to a Southern Baptist preacher. She liked to wear mumus on the beach, she taught me how to lip synch and bought me a Cyndi Lauper CD. I think that admired her more than anyone in my life. She died really young, while she was still in her 50’s. And, no one ever had anything bad to say about her. Everyone totally loved her. KK: One of the things which I think about a lot as an adult are the small things which my Mom used to do on a daily basis which eventually shaped me as a person: are there routines you have or things that you do with your daughters which you either could see influencing or hope will influence the adults they eventually become?
Kati: We do a lot of dancing in my house. We dance pretty much every night before dinner, sometimes after dinner. I don’t know – just normal things, eating breakfast together, talking about our days, eating dinner together – reading books together before bed, if we don’t get too tired. Pretty normal stuff. KK: You are the mother of two small children and a successful business owner: how do you balance your work with your family life? Kati: I haven’t figured it out yet. I think it’s going to take about two years to figure out how to balance it out. That is the time frame I’m giving myself to it figure out and to feel like I’m really doing a good job at both. Because, my husband was also my business partner; and, losing your business partner, the person who helps you parent your children and your husband all in one blow is a pretty powerful loss. I think it’s going to take a while to figure out how it’s all going to work. KK: Tell me about Doe SF and Church Street Apothecary. What was your vision for these stores, what inspired you to start these businesses? Kati: Well, I basically decided that I would not teach anymore because I wanted to have a family; and, I didn’t think I could spend all day with little kids and then come home and also raise young children. I didn’t think I’d really do a good job at both. I thought I could do a good job at one or the other, but not both. So, I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to do something. I always liked the idea of having a dress shop… that’s what I’d thought of for a while. So when Penelope was a year and a half old, James convinced me to do it. Then he found us a space, so I said, “Alright let’s do it.” Church Street Apothecary opened in October of 2004: Basically because I live in the neighborhood that CSA is in. After I opened Doe I basically wanted to open something in my own neighborhood. There’s a lot in this neighborhood, but no retail. And, I just had this idea, this image, of a European style pharmacy. So, I just did it. KK: What do you do on a daily basis to help keep yourself focused and positive about life? Kati: I try to enjoy the time I get to spend with my kids and realize – you know – I’m so lucky to have them and to have them healthy and to have them here with me. I want them to have as normal a childhood as possible. I really just try to stay positive for them – that’s my motivating factor – their quality of life. KK: What do you struggle with? Kati: (Laughs) Staying positive… KK: What do you love? What brings you joy in your life? Kati: I love going on beach vacations. I love taking Penelope to H&M and buying her a bunch of $7 dresses, that brings me a lot of joy. Eating burritos… eating burritos in Dolores Park brings me joy. I love trying on makeup at Church Street Apothecary. I love going to Doe and trying on all the clothes and knowing if I really want it I can have it… that’s really cool feeling. KK: (Laughs) I bet. That’s got to be a great feeling. Kati: Yeah, it’s really cool. Being able to dress people all over the city – it’s cool to go places and see people dressed in something from your store – especially if it’s something you’ve designed yourself, that’s pretty cool. KK: What do you think has defined you as a person? What are some of the moments in your life that you look back on as those which have positively shaped you into the person you are today? Kati: I think meeting my husband at such a young age and always having him believe in me and having him push me to do whatever I wanted was pretty positive. KK: Looking into the future, what are some of the things you would tell your daughters about life as they get older? Kati: Get an education. I would tell them to get the best education they can so they feel empowered to do anything they want. And, hopefully that will happen in the public school system in San Francisco. KK: Yeah getting an education is so important. Both my parents are educators, so I know what you mean. Is there anything else? You know like our moms used to tell us? You know, like don’t do _________; or, always do________? Kati: (Laughs) Wash your face before you go to sleep – that’s a good one. KK: (Laughs) Yeah that is a good one. Is there one lesson you’ve learned in own your life that you’d like to share with the world? Kati: Yes: Believe in yourself. KK: Thanks, Kati – I think you’re an incredible woman and extremely brave. Thank you for sharing your story with me. Donations for the James Kim Technology Foundation can be mailed to:
James Kim Technology Foundation
1767 Church Street
San Francisco, CA 94131
USA
a great interview. thanks so much for doing it and sharing it here.
i hope kati will do her book soon. her determination and personal strength to put one foot in front of the other each day, no matter how bad she might have felt, is truly inspirational. i am sure she has found much of that strength from the girls and from her desire to insure their continued health and happiness. i admire her so much and wish i could tell her. perhaps she will read this and will know. :-)
Posted by: sky | September 29, 2007 3:35 PM