The Rules book caused women across the world to respond in outrage when it was published, due to its not terribly feminist set of rules it equipped us with in "finding, marrying and keeping Mr Right". And I was one of them. I was horrified to think that you couldn't just call a guy when you fancied a chat, and reply to an email when one was sent to you. Surely any kind of relationship should be built on honesty and instinct, rather than game playing and planning?
Um, well, no. Well, at least not all the time. I hate to say it (trust me, I really, really, really hate it) but when I reviewed the top ten rules, they seemed to actually make sense.
1. Be a creature unlike any other
It's undoubtedly a wanky way of saying it, but it's basically just saying be the best you can be. Have self-worth. Talk like you know what talking about. Walk like you know where you're going. Confidence is undeniably attractive in either sex.
2. Show up to parties, dances and social events even if you don't feel like it
Dances? I'm hanging with the wrong crowd. Maybe she means going out dancing like a loon in some sweaty nightclub after too many merlots. Anyway, dating is a numbers game, so it makes sense to get out there as much as you can (hence the creation of Thursday Scouting Nights in my diary).
3. It's a fantasy relationship unless a man asks you out
It's not saying that you can't ask him out as I first thought (although I'm sure that's against the rules somewhere) but saying that the flirting you do with your next door neighbour/friendly local bar man does not constitute a relationship. Turns out I don't have three boyfriends then...
4. Do not email back every time he emails unless it's business related
This is the one I was really against. But, and I've got girlfriends who will back me up on this, it's so true it's unbelievable. An ex-boyfriend who never had to time to email whilst we were together replies back within 20 minutes if I leave it day before replying to his. Are they really this predictable?
5. If you're in a long distance relationship, he must visit you at least three times before you visit him
Yeah, I kind of lose it here when they say things like this: "Remember, the first three visits are really nothing more than three dates... and on the first three dates we don't have sex with a man or have him stay at our place overnight.". We? We? I wouldn't like our first sexual experience to involve either of the authors, thankyouverymuch.
6. In online dating, place the ad and make the men come to you.
I totally advocate this. Not only does it mean you don't have to trawl the adverts, it totally takes away the possibility of you feeling rubbish because the person you get in contact with doesn't reply. Self-preservation, people.
7. If he does not call, he is not interested. Period.
Harsh, but ultimately true. One author made this point into an entire book (He's just not that into you). That's how true it is.
8. Close the deal. Rules women do not date a man for more than two years.
God, it's annoying when they talk sense and then go and throw something like this in. IT'S NOT EVERY WOMAN'S AIM IN LIFE TO GET MARRIED. You can want to meet The One without wanting to go through the stress and strain of an engagement and marriage (I totally want the stress, FYI).
9. Buyer beware - observe his behaviour
OK, this is smart. They're saying don't just rely on The Rules, but pay attention to how well he treats you, how he treats others, etc. It's that old 'watch how he treats his mother' rule.
10. Keep doing The Rules, even when things are slow
Ah, and buy the follow-up books no doubt? Well, fair dos - they're recommending that you go and do all the stuff you love - dinner, theatre, walks in the park - whether you've got The One or not.
So, what's the conclusion. Well firstly, I was totally swept into the media hype. I bought into that thing they do, where they isolate a few sentences from the book and build an entire media frenzy around it. Secondly, I can still see the objections - it's a very passive way of operating. Waiting for him to call, waiting for him to invite you on a date. But I guess if there's one message behind it, it's treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen. And whether you like it or not, wanting what you haven't got is hard wired into the human brain. Depressing, isn't it?
