As far as beauty treatments go I'd generally not given much though as to my derriere, apart from occasionally bemoaning the size, but apparently I've been sadly neglectful, and were I an estranged parent I'd be buying it shed loads of candy and gift wrapped tat. "The bottom is the most neglected area of the body,” Shelly, a bum facialist from Tunbridge Wells, says. “You sit on it all day and encase it in chafing knickers. No wonder the skin tone in that area suffers.”
Ahh, clearly sitting on said bottom is where I've been going wrong all this time, so to combat all that butt stress I should invest in a £40 butt facial, which will last a mere 30 minutes. Imagine paying that much to have some stranger pummel and rub your cheeks! (and not even in a pleasurable way). I think I'll save my money and manage with my untoned ass somehow, after all it' has lasted me so far, and hopefully will carry me further. And as for that beach debut; there's always fake tan!