Gemma Cartwright writes...
I'm experiencing a bit of dilemma. Until recently, I knew what my priorities were. Work, work, work, work and more work. My life has always been about a series of career based goals, even when I was a teenager. I was working towards an end result. Get good GCSEs so I can do A'levels. Get good A' levels so I can go to University. Go to University, get a good degree so I can get a good job. But here comes the dilemma. I did all of that, I'm almost 24 and I don't just have a good job, I have my dream job.
So now what am I supposed to do?
Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining about reaching my goal so quickly, but I hadn't really bargained on it happening so soon, and now I find the rest of my life is catching up with me. A much neglected element of my personality is tugging on my arm and saying 'hi, I'm your sense of fun, remember me? We meet about twice a year, once on holiday and once at Christmas.'
I really do believe that I used to use my goals as an excuse for hiding away and not living my life properly. And now, as I plan long-awaited trips to 'find myself' in Australia, finally realise that my attractiveness is not intrinsically linked to my waistline but more to my confidence, and catch up on all those hungover 'morning after the night before' episodes that I didn't have when I was at University, I find myself wondering whether all the worrying about my future affected my enjoyment of the present?
I'm not saying I wish I'd slept around when I was fifteen and spent more adolescent evenings drinking white lightning with chavvy boys in the local park. I don't regret being a bit of a Hermione. But I do wish I'd let my hair down a bit sooner, stopped letting my sensible streak lead the way, and got a bit more life experience before I buckled down and got to work.
After all, all this making up for lost time is giving me a killer headache!
