The New York Times has a written an interesting article today called, "Listen up, everybody I'm in menopause." Now, while I'm still closer to the time that I first got my period, than that special time when I will go through "the change of life"; I still found this article rather eye opening. For example, did you know that there are menopause clubs? Or buttons? Or coffee cups? But what I found the most hilarious about all this, is that some people think this whole "Menopause Pride" thing is everything from fantastic, to awkward, to down-right offensive. Some women who aren't "lucky enough" to be going through their "special time" actually feel left out that they're not a part of these Hot Flash Clubs, and think women are just using it as another way of creating cliques. (Good gawd.)
In public, if a woman is having a hot flash, knowing "winks or nudges" from other women can create friendships, and support even groups. But the friendly, extroverted attitude regarding menopause is often found offensive by other people. For example, Lee Ann Jaffee, who's a 50-year-old real estate agent, won't exactly be drinking her morning tea out of a "Menopause is the new puberty" mug, as she says: “I don’t think there’s anything funny about it. It’s a tough time.” And really, if you think about it, why would something being "the new puberty" be positive? Or even funny?
Betty Spence, the president of the National Association for Female Executive Women, says that women are still a minority in most offices and usually keep their "heads down as far as menopause goes”. However, when one woman finds out another woman is also going through menopause, its becomes the, like, ultimate bonding experiance. For example, in the North Suburban Library District in Illinois, nearly half of the 40 female employees there are experiencing what they call the “hot zone". Naturally, they've bonded, and have even started using some guy's office that doubles as the computer room as a cool down spot. They've even put a poster for the book The Hot Flash Club on the door.
While The Hot Flashers think they're a riot, not everyone else does. Apparently other women in the office feel "snubbed" and left out they don't get to be a part of their self-proclaimed "secret underground". But while the other women in the office who are busy pouting that they don't get to hang out in the Hot Flash Club room, Peter Caton wants his office back. The 34-year-old was apparently more than a little grossed out when he found out what the ladies were using his office for: "I was shocked and kind of offended. It’s my office. If I was an older man and I put an erectile dysfunction ad on your cubicle, how would you feel?"
Um, Peter? ED isn't the same as menopause, really. And it's not like they're cats in heat hanging out in your office, screeching and rolling all over your keyboard. That being said, I understand his annoyance with someone putting a big Hot Flash Club poster on his office door, especially without asking. And to be honest, I understand other women finding this whole OMG I'M IN MENOPAUSE attitude irritating. It is a private thing. It shouldn't be shamed or frowned upon being talked about, but wearing it on a T-shirt or badge seems a little strange. Are women everywhere supposed to carry around a "Don't mess with me, I'm menstruating!" canvas tote whenever we're on our periods?
Celebrating a natural occurrence of the body like it's something you achieved and everyone should accept and be comfortable just seems strange. And why some women are treating menopause as if its as marketable as Hello Kitty is just beyond me.
Cate Sevilla is the Editor of Dollymix, and regular contributes to Shiny blogs. She'll never wear a "Menopause is the new puberty" T-shirt. And no, she won't change her mind when she goes through "the change".
