Amber McNaught's weekly column on all the things that make her see red...
I've spoken before about my raging dislike of football. Just so I'm not accused of being prejudiced against the traditionally make-dominated sports, though, I'd now like to extend that dislike to take in pretty much all sports, and, specifically, Wimbledon, or "the tennis" as people like to call it.
"The tennis" is not, in itself, offensive. I wouldn't watch it, of course - I have Wii Sports if I want to watch a fuzzy ball be batted back and forth ad infinitum - but as it doesn't usually inspire the loutish behaviour and drunken violence of football, it would mostly manage to fly under my radar altogether if it wasn't for one small, but important point: Neighbours.
The BBC have stopped showing Neighbours while Wimbledon is on. Actually, they've stopped showing Neighbours even when Wimbledon isn't on, because of the whole "torrential rain" thing. Before that, they stopped showing Neighbours for Ascot. Now, this just isn't on (a bit like Neighbours, actually!). And while I hate to sound like some crazy, fanatical Neighbours addict, hello, my name is Amber and I'm a crazy, fanatical Neighbours addict. And I'm not happy.
This, you see, is just one more example of the way the world revolves around sport. If there's a major sporting event on, then nothing else matters. All other TV programmes will be dropped like hot potatoes, just so the sports fans can get their fix. This will happen regardless of the fact that crazy, fanatical Neighbours addicts were, you know, actually watching the show that's been dropped. It will even happen regardless of the fact that Doctor Karl Kennedy is in London visiting Izzy's baby, and now we must wait until Wimbledon ends to find out if he'll ever come back to Susan. Meanwhile, every few minutes someone will call me up and say, "So, have you been watching The Tennis?" Aaargh!
Before you go writing me off as one of those sad people whose life revolves around TV, and who religiously circles "my programmes" every morning in the paper, I actually barely watch TV. Other than that precious 25 minute appointment with Harold Bishop and Paul Robinson every afternoon, (and, OK, Big Brother, because yes, I am one of those people), the TV in our house remains silent much of the day. I would much rather read a good book or go for a walk than switch on the box - except when Neighbours is on, of course, and then all bets are off. Unfortunately for me, so is Neighbours for most of the summer...
There's nothing to be done about it, of course. All I can do is write angry, anonymous letters to the BBC switch the TV off, get back to work and accept that I will not be finding out whether Boyd and Janae get back together for a few more days. And, of course, I can add one more reason to my list of "Reasons Why I Hate Sport" list* Wake me up when the summer's over, folks...
* Not actually a real list. Not that crazy. Yet.
Amber McNaught is a freelance writer and regular Shiny contributor. She works from home all day, but no, that does not mean she's been watching the tennis...
