Charlotte Howells discovers an advert that might be guilty of over-generalisation...
Do you want a svelte body and a magnificently curvaceous and toned bust? It’s every woman’s dream!
Well do you? When I saw this advert - which is for a French beauty product called Superform. I couldn't help but wonder if this really was my dream. And more to the point, if it really was 'every woman's dream'. Do they really mean 'every man's dream', I wonder?
Sure, if God saw it fit to provide me with the body of a goddess and a pair of gravity defying bazookas. I'm hardly going to complain. But he didn't, and whatever advertising people think to the contrary, it isn't my lifelong mission to make it so. In fact, there's many, many more dreams that rank higher up in my list than a perfect body...
It may come as a surprise to Superform that although it would be nice to have a body with no cellulite and perfect tits, I can still keep living day to day without them. In fact, I can even go several minutes, maybe even hours, without thinking about my quest for my ideal body. They might think that I have a sweet little money box, filled to the brim with money earmarked for investing in realising the body of my dreams. But in terms of real money, the amount I've spent trying to unleash my 'magnificently curvaceous and toned bust' - is precisely none.
So, here's a short and random list of things I might want more than being thin and perky of breast. In no particular order...
1. Safety 2. A lot of sleep 3. Interesting conversations 4. Somewhere to live 5. An all expenses paid trip to New Zealand, Costa Rica or anywhere really 6. A personal chef 7. For my laptop fan to start working again 8. To never worry about money 9. For the damn rain to stop. 10. To never have to read another thing about Paris Hilton, ever 11. A personal earring shopper (or alternatively, for all the missing one half of earrings I have to reappear). 12. My health
Number 12 is particularly important. You see, if I'm healthy, I'm alive. And in the grand scheme of things, being alive is way more important than having gawp-worthy breasts.
There's also the small matter that being magnificently curvaceous with a toned bust doesn't make you happy. Psychological studies frequently find that friends, love, and job satisfaction make you happy, while money and a small waist are way down the list.
Every woman's dream? It's certainly not mine.
Charlotte Howells is the editor of Kiss and Makeup and Nollie. Her real dream is to win the lottery and spend the rest of her life on a beach.
