Why I wish the Meredith Brooks Bitch fallacy would go away...
Alex Roumbas wonders why we always celebrate the worst of ourselves...
It's been ten years since Bitch was inflicted on released to an unsuspecting public. Women championed it, men rolled their eyes... But wasn't it charming? Wasn't it wonderful that a woman was saying "hey, look! We're capricious! And changeable! And naturally you wouldn't want it any other way...". Two words: oy vey.
The blasted song was on the radio this weekend as I drove through London. By the time I had finished my rant my boyfriend was looking for the ejector button and commenting "you, erm, don't really LIKE women, do you?". No. I don't.
That is I do. But I don't. Am I sounding like Meredith yet? Then I'll clarify. I don't like women repeatedly shooting themselves in their collective kitten heeled feet by glorifying that which is worst about them.
It's not Ms. Brooks' fault, of course. She was merely continuing a tradition that was forever immortalised in the fickle sexy innocence of Holly Golightly as interpreted by Audrey Hepburn. Now, Capote's Holly was uncompromising and, frankly, nuts enough to be fairly charming, and Hepburn's Holly had the capricious charm washed out of her in a cat-strewn rainstorm. Because, actually, it's NOT cute to change your mind every other minute, it's NOT a woman's prerogative to be a pain in the arse all the time and it's NOT attractive to wear your weaknesses like so much Britney Spears perfume.
I'm not suggesting that I don't have all these unpleasant qualities (and then some). I'm just not proud of it. I have a rotten temper and I work to master it because other people are not responsible for my short fuse (most of the time). I am over-everything: overanalytical, overemotional, oversensitive (I'm beginning to sound like a very specialised fried egg, but bear with me). The point is that while I admit to these failings, I don't feel the need to celebrate them.
I'm picking on Meredith partly because of this weekend's fresh reminder of the dreadful disservice to music by women and partly because of a single line of the song which betrays such extraordinary arrogance that I find it no wonder that women are still struggling to reach an equality equilibrium.
"So take me as I am / This may mean you'll have to be a stronger man"
A stronger man? Why? If you deal with your mock bi-polar pride in your PMT, doesn't that make you a stronger, and better, woman? As human beings we make allowances for others and understand them. This makes us stronger and more compassionate human beings, but I don't see why anyone should have to take someone "as they are" if what they are is a gigantic mental enema.
We have to have an outlet for our emotional outpourings, I understand that. Sometimes it's really nice to hear the words of someone who understands. We don't have to apologise for being human, changeable, melodramatic or just plain tired and whingy. But when we start championing it, and our anthems are still there to haunt us a decade on, we know that we've just set ourselves back another hundred years or so.
Alex Roumbas is Deputy Editor of Shiny Shiny. She hates the world today.
Fantastic column :)
...And at least you're not "over-easy".
Posted by: Cate | May 30, 2007 3:39 PM