When I am Queen: Alex
Every Friday the lovely Dollmixers tell us what they would do if they were Queen...
Ah, Queen of the World, a title I was born for. A role that allows me to merge all social networking sites into one, with users divided into "Child", "Adult" and "Idiot" with the three separated for their own sanity and safety. A position of social standing which gives me the powers to muzzle Ken Livingstone and put him in a cage at the zoo. The authority to banish the shorts-with-tights combo that made everyone look that little bit sillier over the winter...
Onto more diverse and deadly serious matters. The greengrocers' apostrophe? Banished. People who write "must of" and "could of"? Imprisoned (and possibly given the Brazil treatment). Neil Gaiman will be required reading in secondary school, particularly Neverwhere. Any television executives who pitch a new reality TV show will be forced to watch Network and write a public apology entitled "Why I Am Dumber Than Toast". Speaking of toast, no bread roll with a hole in it will be classified as a bagel unless it has actually been boiled before being baked.
Finally, I shall bring back the death penalty for the single most grievous offence of using Comic Sans. In any context. No, not even comic books. You abused it and brought it on yourselves.
