Amber McNaught writes...
Oh how I love it when some company or other commissions a survey to find out "what women like" or "what women hate". It never fails to leave me with even more points to add to my list of "reasons why I am not like other women", and God knows I need more of those...
The latest survey to come to my attention was no exception. It was commissioned by fruit-bouquet company PassionLeaf - look at their website and try not to buy something, go on, I dare you - and it concerns flowers. Yes, flowers. We women, you see, hate them. Oh yes we do. For years now we've just been pretending to gasp in surprise when that inevitable petrol-station bouquet shows up on Valentine's Day, while secretly thinking, "Why the hell couldn't you have got me a pair of shoes, instead?" Well, that's what our survey says, anyway.
Some other things the survey said about flowers:
1. They are embarrassing
2. They are boring
3. They are too high maintenance
4. Finding a vase for them is too much trouble (aw, diddums!)
5. We "can't be bothered" carrying them home from the office. (Yeah, but if it was a pair of Christian Louboutins we'd bother alright. Just sayin').
I dunno, makes them sound a bit like children to me (well, apart from the "finding a vase for them" bit), and women still seem to like them, so I'm not quite sure what the problem is, here. For there is a problem, make no mistake about it. According to this survey, although flowers are the traditional "romantic" gift, only 5% of us actually like getting them, and 48% say the bunch would have to be, like, really big and expensive to impress them. Um, can we say "spoiled"?
"Flowers are completely unoriginal. You can drop into any petrol station and pick them up," points out PassionLeaf's founder Farheen Tahir, who is totally not influenced at all by the fact that PassionLeaf sell products which are an alternative to flowers, no way.
Now, I'm not really sure where I stand on this one. On the one hand I tend to think that any gift I didn't have to drop massive hints about (Terry, if you're reading this? My shoe size is 4, and it's Christian Louboutin you're looking for...) is a good one. And flowers sure as hell beat that brass kitchen roll holder my dad bought my mum for her birthday that one time. Why yes, my parents are still together, why do you ask?
So, as far as I can see, there's something a little bit - OK, make that a big bit - ungrateful about getting all whiny about a gift. Any gift. But at the same time, and seeing as they're asking - I can also see where these women are coming from. I mean, flowers. Yes, they look pretty. But they're dead. Or dying at least. Now, call me overly-sentimental, but I don't really want something to be killed in my honour, you know? And I've never been much of a "flower" person, to be honest. At my wedding? I really wanted to carry a designer handbag instead of a bouquet. I have enough trouble keeping myself and the dog alive without having to worry about offering food to a flower, too. And also: those fruit bouquets look mighty tasty to me...
So tell me: what do you think of getting flowers as a gift? Truthfully?
Amber McNaught is a freelance writer and regular Shiny contributor. Everything in her garden is dead.