A year or two ago I was hit with the horrible realisation that I was considered 'old' to be going clubbing. Me? I was astounded. My favourite thing in the world! Worse, the observation was casually made by a man - in the same club - who was five years my senior.
Granted, I wasn't one of the real old codgers who - past caring - happily flash their cellulite to all and sundry on the dancefloor, but I ought to be aware that's where I was headed. And who would aspire to that? I dismissed this at the time, assuming the guy's rudeness was equal to his observational skills, but that vodka-fuelled exchange has lodged itself somewhere in the part of my brain marked 'fun', and I've become far more aware of the limits imposed on women when it comes to having a good time.
Beyond your early twenties, it seems, you're just not allowed to enjoy yourself without being seen as 'a bit of a mess', though it's not clear where this line is drawn. I was resigned to facing this attitude in 10 years time, but as a carefree 27-year-old clubber I was stunned. Especially when the room seemed to be liberally filled with leery older men having a whale of a time.
Since then, I've continued to have as much fun as I can handle (or afford) but this particular 'old man's' attitude keeps rearing its ugly head, and I've found myself obsessed with trying to disprove it. Unfortunately, he seems to represent an attitude that's rife, not least in the media, where female celebrities can be party animals one minute and emerge as old women the next. Kate Moss is a good example of someone who hasn't towed the line, but look at how much stick she's getting. No longer seen as sexy by the readers of machismo-bible FHM, she's considered 'weathered' at just 33. Her crime? daring to party too hard when she should have noticed she's crossed an invisible line. I'm not saying we all want to date a drug-addict 10 years our junior, but if that's what Kate wants to do, why shouldn't she? I'll be there are enough male celebrities in comparable situations.
I began to wonder if I was just immature. All of a sudden, the only people I read or heard about who were like me -- into music (the current sort, not dreary 'nostalgia' from 'back in the day'), new fashion or anything else that wasn't middle-aged -- seemed to be younger than me. Or male. By my age, they seemed to have just disappeared.
But I knew this representation was bogus, because all my close female friends were complaining about the same thing. And I think the mainstream media has a lot to answer for here: the assumption is that girls 'settle down' in their mid twenties, so those who aren't quite ready tend to get left in this unfortunate gap, either conforming to the popular stereotype or rebelling, being typecast as freaks who refuse to fit in. I think it's time that representation came in line with the reality, because just as men have always done, women are staying young well into their thirties and beyond, and we need to be represented - favourably!
