Camilla Chafer writes...
In the news this week, we've seen the final judgement declared in Lucie Blackman's case. For those of you who haven't heard of her, she was a 21 year old English women who worked as a hostess in Tokyo until she was brutally murdered. The defendant, a Japanese businessman, was acquitted of her murder but not of other attacks. I'll make no comment on the case itself, but instead focus on the remark her mother was reported as saying in a BBC article that she had a gut feeling that something bad would happen.
This begs the questions for how long do you protect your children and how far should you go?
For parents, the number one fear is something dreadful with happen to your child whether it's a tragedy in the home, a disastrous school trip or an untimely end at the hands of another. It starts the minute your child becomes real whether that is in the womb or at birth or later. It's sometimes a near paralysing fear that you could lose the person who now means most to you.
Of course, in the early days of babyhood, you can keep your child close by virtue of them not being able to get away. As they grow older they fight for freedom. They don't want to hold your hand in the park, they want to play out with friends, gradually they'll go into town by themselves and eventually they'll fly your nest and go abroad, to university, to somewhere where you don't know what they're doing and you aren't fully sure they've heeded all your dire warnings about cover your drink, don't talk to strangers still!, beware of unlicensed taxi cabs and so on.
But cosseting them takes away a vital piece of your child's human rights; their right to freedom. One clearly can't lock them up in relative safety forever. They have to learn to make their own judgements and decisions, weigh up whether a situation feels right and trust their gut instincts.
When my children are old enough, I hope they'll have the courage to go off and do exciting things and I'll have the courage not to feel sick with fear for them. The answer is clear, you'll always want to protect your children but you can only go as far as they'll let you once they reach the milestones of their lives.
Camilla Chafer is a freelance journalist and long standing Shiny contributor. She edits Bridalwave and contributes to both Shiny Shiny and Hippyshopper. She is currently perfecting her stealth spy skills in order to track her children where ever they may go.
