In a rare moment of solidarity, Gemma Cartwright stands up for shopgirls...
Like all struggling writers, I've been known to moonlight from time to time. A couple of years ago I took a job working for a cosmetics company, and nine months flogging bubble bath and soap taught me more about beauty than I ever cared to know.
I actually made a bit of a rubbish sales assistant. Not because I didn't know what I was talking about but because I wasn't happy lying to make a sale, and I did stupid things in order to 'help' (like telling a customer to go to Superdrug across the road). Luckily, my little faux pas were nothing compared to what I had to put up with from customers...
I know most of us hate shop assistants, and beauty counter girls rank up there with the worst of them. They work on commission (or bonus schemes) so obviously they're always trying to get a sale and can be a bit pushy. But spare a thought for these poor, minimum wage girls before you snap at them for saying hello. These are some of the idiots they have to put up with...
The 'I read it on the internet' scaremonger
- There's always some rumour on the internet about how an essential oil, perfume, colour or ingredient is the latest cause of cancer / impotence / hair loss. And you always get one woman come in to yell at you like it's your fault (in front of all the other customers). Scared it's going to kill you? Then don't buy it. No shop assistant is going to hold a gun to your head.
The 'I won't use anything with sodium laureth / lauryl sulfate in' preacher
- Do you use toothpaste? Look at the ingredients. Suddenly putting it in your hair seems less of a problem, doesn't it?
The 'it doesn't lather enough for me' whiner
- In the end I gave up arguing the toss on this one. But for the record, lather is the reaction between the product and the air. It actually doesn't do anything to your hair / body / face. In fact, it's the result of too much product and is just a waste. We've been fooled into thinking lots of lather means a good product when in fact it's probably the opposite.
The 'oh I have sensitive skin, I have to use Clinique' skincare queen
- Clinique clarifying lotion takes off nail polish. I'd rather wash my face in vodka, to be honest.
The adamant shopper ('I know what product I'm looking for, it was definitely this colour, this shape and this size...')
- We never made that product. Really. Do you perhaps mean this one, which is a different size, shape and colour to the one you're describing? Yep, thought so.
The 'I'm allergic to everything you make' sensitive soul
- Right. So why are you in my shop, again?
The snooty 'you silly little shopgirl' bitch
- Just remember who's swiping your credit card, ok?
