Bit of a contentious topic I know, but I actually really admire Jordan, or 'Katie Price', as she's no doubt known down at the local PTA meetings. Sure, she may be a honeydew-melon titted chav who's been sprayed with Velveeta cheese and sashayed nekkid through the Eastern end of Oxford Street, accumulating gold chains and fake Juicy Couture velour tracksuits faster than you can say 'go forth to the West side, towards Zara and Topshop', but there's just something about her.
Could it be that she's actually a sagacious businesswoman, possibly with even more smarts and wits about her than you and me? After all, she's minted, with royalties coming out of her ears, allowing for her to live a fruitful life up in her mansion with the similarly Tango'd Peter André and kids.
Having ranked number two in Channel 4's list of '100 Worst Britons We Love To Hate', does no-one ever wonder just how she became such a household name, stacked on the pantry shelves right next to Kleenex, Heinz and Dairylea?
Why, she sold out, that's how, and that is exactly the reason why I laud her with so much respect.
The media places so much negative emphasis on the act of 'selling out' (why, just look at when The Clash finally cracked the US, and the number of British fans who consequently sold their London Calling records). Particularly the British media, as if it's immoral or greedy to want, and receive, so much success. It's known as the Tall Poppy Syndrome, the act of shooting down someone who is more successful than yourself.
I truly believe this is why the general public has an intense dislike towards Katie Price, that she could possibly dare to be more successful than us, by doing such awful things. Gosh, I've never seen a boob before, is that what they look like?! Shock! Horror! So it's a bit of boob, big deal, there's obviously a demand for her, Jodie Marsh, Caprice et al.
When Darwin wrote The Origin of Species in 1859, I wonder whether he had any inkling his work could be compared to the plight suffered by Katie. After all, through natural selection, only the fittest animals survive, and if life really is a rat race, shouldn't we applaud Katie doing whatever's necessary to provide for herself and her family? The fact that she's done everything short of actual prostitution (to my knowledge) to 'pimp' herself out and sell her brand, guarantees her face appears in every magazine newsstand for life.
We don't often associate an astute businesswoman with wearing the local Kings-Cross-After-11pm garb, but perhaps that's why she's so successful. She's willing to go the distance to grab hold of what she's after - money and fame. After all, fame does equal money in our society, and wealthy individuals live longer and happier lives. What started out as a mere appearance on Page 3, with no perceivable talents except the two engorged corgi-pups stuck to her chest, has led to several book deals (both biographical and fictional), a jewellery range, underwear range, album deal, plus numerous television gigs.
Right from the start, she's always been very obvious about what she's after, with no real facade to speak of. Shouldn't honesty be something which garners respect? Success, too? Sure, she's achieved all this through means which you or I might never choose, but for her the end clearly justifies the means, otherwise she wouldn't continue doing it. Besides, aren't we all whoring ourselves out somehow in our careers, trying to get ahead by selling little slivers of our soul? At least selling photos of yourself to Stella-drinking lads is getting back to basics without any delusions of grandeur.
Katherine Hannaford is the editor of The Bag Lady and writes for Shiny Shiny, Tech Digest and WiiWii.